Kays and Kays

If you have been reading you will no doubt recall that I was going to go for a drive on Friday to get my lease kilometres back into shape.

Well it was a successful day by all accounts. The drive down was nice, the Macquarie valley was extremely verdant and a interesting road to drive on. It is a tight twisty narrow road yet has semi-trailers travelling on it. The bends are so tight that you have to stop before each turn if there is a truck coming the other way. I almost got taken out by one.

The corners get worse when you get the the single lane section. Even normal cars have to cross over to the other side to get around the inside of the hairpins! It amazes me that semi trailers are allowed to use this road but I guess it is a great link between the Hume highway and Wollongong.

Once we were up in the highlands the mist and fog rolled in. I only wish I had fog lights on the car so I could legitemately use them! The pies at the famous Robertson Pie shop were ok I guess. The chicken curry could have had more bite to it. Oh well, I guess when you cater for the masses you don't want to offend anyone. Bit like Oporto's warning you about the chillie in their chillie burger or McDonalds warning you that coffee is hot.

Anyway, the trip was good. On the return leg I travelled up the M7 and on approaching the M4 realized that it was only 2:30pm and I still had time to kill. I could either go home and laze on the couch for a couple of hours or I could keep on driving. Considering the whole point of the day was to rack up kays, I chose the latter option.


View Larger Map
So on I went, down the M4, up to Glenbrook in the Blue Moutains, the turning off at Springwood to take the long route back via Hawksbury Heights and Richmond to Windsor. This is the way that my family always used to take from the Northern Beaches to the Blue Mountains before the M2 existed. It's a lovely scenic drive but took 2hrs rather than the 1hr 15mins that the freeway takes.

All up a very good day with a total of 425kms added. So now I'm not very far behind at all and saw some lovely country side in the process.

Crazy Card Canasta

Ok, that was a little forced alliteration.

I am in the process of trying to get rid of my credit cards in favour of Visa Debit cards instead. Doing this has highlighted how many different places you hand out this information to and how much fun it is to change it.

So far I have, eToll, iTunes, eBay and the phone company to start with. Each with a different process I'm sure. Then there are more things like my domain company and the online shopping website.

When you think about it, all these sites all have your credit card details (though I'm not sure about the shopping website). I used to only deal with sites that didn't store your card details but these days that is much more difficult. It would be nice if sites had to give you the option of not storing your card but alas there is no such law in place.

Oh well, for now we just have to trust them. I guess an encrypted website is better than nothing but it's still easy for users to get complacent and ignore warnings about a websites security (e.g. their invalid certificate) because our security software trains us to just blindly click on stuff.

So my TODO for tomorrow is to try and change my credit card details with all these people and do it without loosing my temper or signing up for any new value adds.

Wish me luck.

Making Plans

In an effort to blog more often as per my new years resolution, here is todays entry.

As you may know I was looking at Macquarie Pass as somewhere to drive to. Well I have made the arrangements and am taking next Friday (15th) off to do the drive. Google maps says it will take roughly 2hrs each way but the pass is pretty steep narrow and popular so who knows if I will get stuck behind someone going real slow or not.

In other news I've finally mailed off my application for trade access to TLE. This is part of my dream to freelance as someone who does network wiring for peoples houses. I've done three so far. Just need to get people to pay me for doing it (i.e. more than just parts). The TLE part of the dream is for access to discounts when buying parts.

It's all part of ze plan!

A Difficult Choice

I have made a new years resolution to blog more...

I am coming up on ten years in my current job. Logic says its time for a change but after ten years, change is a difficult thing to contemplate. I have the problem of having reasonable job satisfaction coupled with the nagging sensation that I could do better. Add to that the fact that I can't easily define my current position and it makes the thought of changing jobs daunting.

I have considered network engineer, generic manager, project manager and can't think of what else.

Any ideas? I had been waiting for my boss to move up the food chain but I fear he's in the same boat as me, likes what he does, reluctant to move and just in a cushy place.

I have recently acquired my CCNA Security specialization but I just can't see work rating that worth of a pay increase considering I'm not a network engineer.

Oh the pain of it all.

The joys of a lease

So I have a leased car. Yes, I'm behind on my kays and looking for somewhere to go to chew up the miles.

The other weekend we were in Mittagong doing the very same things. After getting back I was checking the maps (as I do) a noticed a lovely squiggly line not far from there.

Turns out this squiggly line is a popular road for people on bikes and I've found several videos on YouTube showing how great a road it is.

So my next mission, take the freeway down to Wollongong and then up the road to Macquarie Pass and on to Robertson for a famous pie!

Sounds like a plan?


View Larger Map

On a Whim

On a random suggestion whilst having guests over the other night for a low key new years I have registered the domain lazyparents.net with a tagline of "For Parents who couldn't be arsed".

My theory is there are lots of things parents find difficult to discuss with their kids that they know they should. This is much more than just education about sex. Things like where is heaven and why does Granny smell funny.

So, I play to find or create some content and see where it leads me.

Any suggestions?

Creative Ikea

Is is really bad when you starting getting creative decorating ideas based on Ikea furniture?

Is it a sign that you've done one too many visits to that great warehouse under the sun?

I think perhaps I should keep a secret my designer Ikea. Perhaps they might be interested?

A Foot Long

 
How long as it been? Not long but she's as pretty as ever and now is starting to roll over. She has the whole world ahead of her (what a cliche) and I'll be here watching.

New Addtion to the family

Here's a video of our new daughter getting ready to come home from the hospital.

Train Topology Anyone?

I have been playing with my sons Geotrax system of late. When he wants to play trains it means he sits on the bed and daddy puts the trains together so that he can break them apart.

So naturally, being the nurd that I am, was wondering if there was a mathematical way to determine the number of layouts that used every piece of a given set of pieces. I have recently managed to create a layout that uses every piece:


The question is. How many are there like this? Also, how do you determine what their basic topological properties are such as how the points relate to each other and what the symmetric must look like.

Any ideas?

There's no Honour in Killing

Ok, so there's plenty of news and blogs about the aborent practise in some places of honour killings yet most of them just repeat the same ideas, that it is incredible such things still go on and they should be stopped.

These are easy things to say and certainly put you on the right side of things but has anyone stopped to consider how something like this would play out in western society?

Picture this, teenage daughter comes home later than her curfew. Parents are upset as they expected more from her. They tell her that their family has a reputation has a good upstanding family and her actions would lead people in the community to think otherwise. They were sorry but she would have to be killed.

Can you put yourself in that position? Of course we find it difficult to image our parents ever saying something like that in the first place and if they did then we just wouldn't take them seriously.

But what if they were serious and more than that everyone we might speak to about it would take their side and agree with the sentance? What if even people in authority like the police whilst not condoning our theoritical parents actions they would not intervene.

Can you imagine that? Can you imagine a society were there is no recourse, there is no second opinion. I would imagine that you might resist and try to fight it and if you were strong willed then you might find a way out. But if you weren't then you might feel like there was no way out, that perhaps rather than be killed the only option is to kill yourself.

I have read recently that some females who have been given an honour sentence feel this way, it's almost like having suicidal thoughts yet they are no fault of your own.

How does one change society? Society has such a huge momentum behind it and exists in the behaviour of millions of people? If for generations these things have been accepted in a particular society then how is any member of that society able to break out from these rules? It seems impossible doesn't it? How am I any more able to change for instance the western social view on public nudity?

Yet perhaps the difference might be that we are taught to question the things told to us, to work things out for ourselves rather than taking at face value that which someone else tells us. This works for us but it doesn't help those who are dying for someones concept of honour.

Almost Christmas and I'm Good

Do you remember as a kid how excited you got for Christmas? All these presents and you didn't have to do anything (in theory) to get them? Yes, I remember being so excited you couldn't sleep I mean this was the highlight of the year.

Then we grow up and realize what our parents do to make it such a great day and although we appreciate it, it never has the same magic as it once did.

Then we become parents and we start to get excited about it again. We look forward to being able to give our little ones something they'll really enjoy and we look forward to seeing the enjoyment on their faces. It feels good to come full circle and enjoy it from the other side.

Yet something is gnawing at me making me feel like I'm doing something wrong. You see, due to scheduling constraints we are unable to get to Church this year having two places to be on the day. Growing up I always got annoyed when we had to stop playing with all our new toys and go to church but now that I am older I realise that its a bit shallow to celebrate Christmas without actually going to church but I guess that's normal these days.

Sure there will be thousands of people who only go to church on this day and the churches understand this and give the people what they want. I mean the service you get on Christmas day is not really a normal service, its a service for the people who feel guitly about celebrating Christmas without any thought for the true meaning.

So back to my problem. I won't be going to church on Christmas day but I have managed to get my head around this by realizing that unlike all those people who go just that one day, I have been going to church throughout the year and trying to learn and get something out of it. So I feel that I won't really be missing out and that my heart and head will be in the right place as I try to remember why we do this in the first place.

Hope you all have a happy day and think of each other as we go to our various events.

A New Life

There is nothing quite like the news of hearing that friends have just had their first child. It comes so out of the blue sometimes that its quite a surprise when it happens. As it did happen to me this morning, I found out that friends of mine had had their first child at 6am this morning and all was well. I couldn't help be feel so happy for them. It can be a time of extreme stress so it's good to know everyone has made it through ok. It makes me look forward to the birth of my second child next year. I can remember how I felt waiting for my son to be born, not knowing when things were going to happen, waiting and more waiting.

So I know where my friends are at right now, in this weird place, tired, exhausted but over the moon. It's surreal, shortly followed by an endless stream of visitors. Enjoy.

Somehow I don't think the second time around for me will be the same. I know too much going in so there won't be quite the same heightened anxiety as there was the first time. I'm sure it will still be an amazing experience, birth will always be that way but I still think there's nothing like being first time parents, completely stonkered at what has taken place.

Well, I should send some congratulations to my friends and their speedy arrival. Well done.

A bit too close to home

This is what I was confronted with when leaving for work this morning:

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/sydney-car-blast-mystery/2008/07/15/1215887577802.html

Didn't hear a thing but that 4WD has a habit of parking on the curb right at the corner and I've almost taken him out several times. Perhaps someone got pissed at him?

The Decline of Company Loyalty

I originally created this blog as a place to vent my frustrations. Then there was a period where I just wasn't frustrated. Getting married, buying a house, having a baby, whilst stressful are not frustrating.

But now, I have something to post about. Perhaps this is indicative on me than on IT in general but I have come to the conclusion that not only is it the done thing to change jobs every 2 years in IT but IT companies now also expect it. Company loyalty no longer exists. It is expected that if you don't like your job you change. Simple as that. Companies now know that they no longer have to try to retain staff as staff will leave regardless. IT workers also know this and know there is no point trying to move up the ranks as people will be moved in sideways and they will not go anywhere.

So both sides of the employment coin understand the situation and have agreed on terms yet for some reason I haven't bought into this scheme. Here I am after eight years of service still waiting to move somewhere. Each year I hope for something and each year I get told how tough the market is and how the company is struggling. Obviously this is just management talk to manage my expectations. They expect that if I'm not happy I will move on. They don't need to do anything as I am just the same as the rest of the cattle here. Even if your performance review rate you as execptional that just means you are allowed to stay.

I remember years ago when employement was supposed to be a win win situation. You put your time in doing work for your employer and they made it worth your while. Now they don't care what you do, just that you do it quietly and move on if you're not happy. Your direct manager no longer has any control over your career, nor does his manager and so on. Everyone is treated the same and promotion is only through knowing the right people and being at the right place and has nothing to do with merit or loyalty.

Yet here I am, still here still enduring. What gives?

Official Google Blog: Looking towards IPv6

Looks like IPv6 is getting the big name support it needs. Now we just need Google to IPv6 enable the rest of their services and we'll be set.


Official Google Blog: Looking towards IPv6

Riding Away

I've started riding to work and something strange has happened. Instead of my inherent
lazy streak overriding me and telling me to take the car when the weather is nasty I have found that I'm now feeling bad for taking the car. I actually find myself feeling like a wimp of some sort for not riding in the rain or for thinking a little bit of wet is an excuse not to ride.

I don't understand this myself as it's not what I would have expected of myself. I know I'm lazy and it's a constant battle to get past that. Yet here I am wanting to ride in the rain, wanting to not skip days. I think some of the motivation has to be that I've lost 4kg. Not that that sounds like a lot (it isn't) but it's more the fact that people have noticed and finally I have felt like I'm getting somewhere.

I know how hard it is to diet which is why I'm not being to careful on that side of things. Yes I'm trying to eat less but I'm not that fussy of what it is. Instead I feel like I'm changing my lifestyle for the good here. I've wanted to ride for so many years yet haven't managed to get there until recently. Now I feel liberated. I look forward to riding, and once I'm at work I feel happy that I have to ride home because now I am enjoying the whole deal.

Ok, enough ranting about riding.

Find me by the Shorefront

Well it's about time. I finally have a shady front to hide behind. Yes, I've registered a business name and gotten myself an ABN.

http://shorefront.googlepages.com

Now just to find some consulting work.

My masochistic reading

Of late I've been doing my head in with the heaviness of my reading choices. Currently I'm reading War and Peace the mother of all epitomes and decided on the weekend that I needed more punishment and thus bought The Brothers Karamazov and the Idiot both by Dostoevsky.

All this intellectual masochism started on a whim one day whilst browsing a book store at Birken Head I noticed both War and Peace and Crime and Punishment. Who couldn't resist books which such simple titles? I couldn't considering I had actually heard of these two books and usually they were considered very serious undertakings when it came to the book world.

So I bought them and waded through Crime and Punishment whilst staying at my in-laws (in between houses). Such was the weight of this book it caused me to start writing one of my own.
This mood soon left me until I started on War and Peace. That journey is still going and I can't see an end in sight yet as I'm only 750 pages in, barely half way.

So all this intellectual discovery has lead me to pile on the pages with two more Dostoevsky's which look to be good, one of which was his last book so I can hopefully (if my brain survives) compare the two.

I'll let you know how I get on.

Bye Bye SuperWall

I have just removed my SuperWall from facebook. It seems the only purpose of this application is to propagate chain mail hoaxes around as fast as possible. Ending up with multiple copies of the same stupid hoax with some (presumable) innocent persons face attached to it just irked me no end.

So now I've deleted my Superwall and am only going to use Facebook for it's original intend, keeping in touch with friends.

No longer a facebook whore

Are you one of those people that accepted every request from 'friends' on facebook? So that your profile was overflowing with apps you'd never used? So that you're profile page was full of the latest wave of crap that was sweeping through the ranks of facebookers. Yep that was me.

Until now. I have decided that the only reason for facebook is to replace the email chains that annoying people used to send through. At least that's all that I can see. Everytime I get a message saying someone has sent me something I get excited. Then I look at it and realize it's not to me. Not really, none of it is. It's just another chain thingy sweeping through facebook that you get some sort of kudos for sending to as many people as possible.

Remember, the person with the most friends wins!!

So I've decided to trim down my profile, clean out the clutter. I'm getting rid of my FulWall(tm) as it's just a place for people to place random crap that I don't want nor care to advertise. All those apps that I only added to be nice and never used, gone.

Now I will just be using facebook so that people know that I exist and know a few people. I just don't have the time for the rest of it.

Concept

In my attempt to write a book or at least a short story (fictional) I have spent some time thinking about how to go about it. To this end I have created this document in which I will try and lay out my story before I begin writing. I think it's good to have a plan as to where you are going so that you can keep to the story line.

My earlier attempts at creative writing (read high school) were written much more free form and thus didn't start with any specific ideas other than the terms of the work set by school. Now that I want to do my own thing I have to have much more of an idea of what I want to write about.

I have enjoyed reading Crime and Punishment and I certainly relate to the struggle the main character has with the deeds that he has done. Thus I am inclined to write a story about one man struggle with some kind of new knowledge. Thoughts so far are some form of mental capacity or perhaps a new scientific discover that has large ramifications.

Outline

Start with background of the primary character. Introduce him and let the reader understand him. What he looks like how he behaves.
Walking down the busy city street, Pavlo exuded excitement like a glow one gets after sex. You could tell just by looking at him that he was bursting to tell everyone and everything about something. It was his walk, his barely there smirk and the way he wasn't distracted by any of the sights passing as he walked. Here was a man on a mission.

Next start with his state of mind. Perhaps he has already made this discovery and his first reaction is just to tell people. This does not go well.

Learning from his first reaction he finds that people just aren't interested. He is having a hard time making people understand the significance of what he has discovered. He is depressed about this.

He tries in vain to ignore his discovery feeling letting doubt reign thinking that perhaps its a symptom of his own mental illness.

He seeks treatment for his 'illness' even though in his heart he doesn't believe it. But then mental illnesses can feel like that he reasons.

He is placed on medication by his physician and seems happy for now with this outcome. In a sense it is a resolution. Not the resolution that he desired but certainly one that fits with todays ideas.

Years pass and by accident he finds someone else who has created a website about his discovery. He is completely thrown off guard with this news.

He attempts to get in contact with the person that has created this website to try and confirm the story but the person is illusive.

Eventually he tracks this person down and discovers that whilst the concept is the same as his the person does not believe in it but placed it on the Internet as a thought experiement.

Our man is devastated by this news and spends much time in a haze unsure of what to do next.

Finally he decides the only resolution he can possible have is some form of proof that either he is mentally ill, or his discovery is real and he is ok.

Somehow an experiment is conducted which he plans to demonstrate his discovery to people who can judge it properly.

He presents the experiment and despite mixed responses to his discovery comes to the conclusion that not all strange weird and new discoveries such as his are the result of mental illness and perhaps leaps of discovery such as this is now mankind advances.

Notes

I believe the premise of this story is to take the reader through the same states that the protagonist goes through. The excitement at his discovery followed by disbelief when the discovery is revealed.

Alternatively, I had toyed the the idea of seeing now far I could get through the story without revealing what the discovery was at all. After all the meat of the story is how he deals all the things that are thrown at him. Yet the reader will be curious as to what it is and want to judge for themselves that this discovery is warranted.

I am thinking of stories like the movie K-Pax where the 'discovery' so to speak is that Prost is an alien yet are left guessing the whole time about the truth of this. So perhaps here I need him to have a discover that is suitably out there.

Perhaps some form of mental capacity that is currently unbelievable. Psykokensis is too well covered. Telepathy also. Perhaps coersion. The mental equivalent of bullying. Making others do what you want. Bending free will to your will. Yes that will do it.

To make it interesting though we won't reveal this until his diagnosis as ill. This could be the end of part 1.

I passed

Now I can get on with the real business of studying for my CCNP. I have this ingrained need to prove myself. I don't know why, perhaps because I was such a dissapointment during school. I could have done many things, I was just so very lazy. Now I'm making up for lost time. Whilst I still can.

Back Studying

For those that are interested, I am resitting my CCNA exam on Tuesday. The old one lapsed in 2005 and boy have they changed the exam since I did it in 2002. But I am feeling confidant about it and hopefully will pass with more flying colours than I did last time!

It Crawls!

Yes the creature that is my son, thought you would all like to know. Pictures to follow soon and perhaps even a video for those that want it!

Moving In

Just a quick note to say that we are all moved in now. We've been here three days and have managed to discover all there is to discovery about our place including our rubbish shute! We still have loads of boxes all over the place and we are getting to grips with the lack of an official pantry but hey, we have heaps of room so there's nothing to complain about.

Once we get the place sorted out we will have you all over for a BBQ.

Nightmare on Mortgage street

When you say to people that you are buying a new house everyone is very happy for you and none the wiser about what is really involved.

Perhaps you have never bought a property before but I tell you now, it's a rollercoaster of a process and that's after you've signed the contract and you know it's yours!

With our current purchase we decided to keep our existing loan (called a substitution) and just let the bank extend it to buy the new place. Sounds simple? Ha, you would know it but for some reason noone seems to know how this process works least of all the lawyers working for the bank nor my broker who set this all up!!!

We got to 4pm on the day before settlement was due to occur only to find out that the bank couldn't access the money available in the existing loan. This meant of course that we had to somehow get this money to them. With the threat of a delayed settlement on the cards many frantic phone calls were made trying to sort out this mess.

The end of it involves myself hand delivering a cheque from the bank to the banks lawyers! What a crock. Luck I had taken the week off else it would have been a difficult situation.

The thing that really gets to me about this whole process is that for a settlement that was longer than usual it took to one day before settlement to discover this problem and only by accident. None of the parties that supposedly should have done this before told me that I would have to participate in the settlement. I cannot believe that they didn't know about this.

Lesson to be learned in the future, don't trust the people who's job it is to know these things. Pretend they are all idiots and double check everything. They are all making money out of this transaction they should be on the ball yet they are not.

I feel like a project manager, manging my own property settlement, perhaps theres an industry in that?

An Experiment

I plan to attempt a new project. I want to write a book. I will keep you posted. Just an experiment to see if I can.,

Crime and Punishment

Yes you guess it, I'm reading the revered Crime and Punishment (next up is War and Peace). You may of course ask why on earth I would want to read such heavy books. Trust me I have been wondering that myself but I guess it goes like this:

I have always wondered if ordinary people would given the right stimulus be able to comprehend things such as these books. Alternatively are they only for the intellectual elite amongst us? Certainly I don't consider myself one of those but I am curios to know if I can understand what it is about these books that makes them among the greatest books ever written (so I am led to believe).

So therefore when I recently spotted these two books at a bookstore I thought to myself, why not? I mean surely there is something in there for everyone? So that is my experiment. I am going to read these two giants and see if I can understand what it is that makes them giants.

Of course all of this could just be proof of what a geek I have become. For some reason I now seek out challenges such as these. I mean I have the most eclectic taste in movies (just ask my wife) and music that anyone would wonder what I am trying to prove? To be honest? I don't know. Perhaps I am just trying to prove that I am smart and thus worthy of feeling good about myself.

I'll let you be the judge.

Bought at Auction

Wow, I have justed been through my first auction. What a process it was. Nerve wracking to boot. But in the end we won the property we were after for quite a bit less than reserve which is good news.

It's funny how we managed to build up a perception of something with limited knowledge about it. The auction process was nothing like I had imagined. Well ok it was something like it but the auctioneer was much more jovial that I had imagined and yet at the same time there were far fewer people bidding that I had expected. The room was packed with over 40 people but there was no way of knowing which of the 5 properties the people were interested in.

As it turned out very few of the people present actually bidded on properties and for ours only one other person and he wasn't prepared to go as high as we were.

Woo such a load of to have this all over and done.

Intimidating

Today I was called something I never thought I would and it made me think. We always worry at least to some extent what people think of us. We can't help it. You can't live in a society and not wonder what people think of you because we spend so much time thinking things of other people. Usually with little fact in the mix too.

So today when I was called intimidating I was quite bemused. I had never seen myself that way and certainly hadn't thought that my geekdom would be to blame. Yet somehow it made sense to some extent.

Of course normally these things don't get found out because people are too polite to say anything to your face. I might never have found out that that's what these people think of me.

Does it really make a difference though? I don't know. I don't like the tag but what am I going to do? Pretend to be dumb so people aren't intimidated? I don't think so. I'm proud of who I am and I don't think modifying my behavior to suit a handful of people is the solution. I don't really know how I can avoid being intimidating if this is the effect I have on people. How else does one behave when the reason they feel this way is because you know too much yet at the same time you are trying to teach them things and help them get a leg up?

You tell me because I don't know.

New Lens Today

Yep, photography wannabe. Thats me. But today I received my 50mm lens which I have wanted for ages. Now that I have a bub I have a willing subject to photograph and I want to be able to capture him in all his modes.

Thus I now have this simple light cheap and fast lens to do that with. With an F stop of 1.8 it is very fast and I should be able to take non-flash shots in many more situations. Cant wait to get it home and have a play!

Where are all my friends?

Where have all the good friends gone?

I think that sounds like a song to me. I've been playing around with all these social networking sites of late but all they seem to show me is that I don't have any friends. Or at least not the kind that use such services.

Somehow I can only come away from all this with the feeling that I have no friends? Is this how our children will measure their self esteem by how many friends they have on facebook?

His first holiday

Well little Nick has had his first holiday away from home. We spent a couple of nights up in the Blue Mountains and he slept overnight in his porta-cot. New experience for us parents having him in the same room. Bubs are noisy sleepers!
Here we have him in his backpack about to go down the Furber steps in Katoomba. Shortly after this shot he fell fast asleep and missed most of the descent!
It was a fun day for all though mums legs are much sorer afterwoods! Here he is a little over 5 months old now and going great on solids. Perhaps next year up the mountains he might be walking some of the way!!

Book of Faces

I have recently been introduced to FaceBook and I'm hooked. Thing is, I don't have any friends...or at least (said a better way) I don't seem to have many friends on facebook. But I guess that's 'cos it's not really that big here in Australia yet. Getting there I guess.

Neat idea of how every relationship you have (eg you say you know person a) requires verification from that person. So you don't get random people trying to attach to your profile!

I like it.

So ok, everyone reading this, sign up...and be my friend! Then I can look popular, something I've always wanted to do!

Check out my profile:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=601346387

Why wouldnt you have one?

I mean honestly? Why would anyone not want to have one of these to enjoy? I've no idea what kind of parent I am going to make, how can anyone? But I do know that right now, when he's just shy of 4 months old, he brings so much joy to our little family.

Yes he can be a lot of work but you do that willingly. Because he's part of you. Because he gives you a reason to exist. Something to justify all the other crap that you go through. He's your chance to engender all those ideals that you've spent the last decade creating. He's so many things it's hard to get across just what it is that make him so special.

Then again, this is not something I could imagine or theorize about before the event. All those couples out there making the choice not to have kids are working on minimal information. But then noone is ever going to suggest you have kids just to try it out. You can't hand them back if you find that it's not your cup of tea.

Kids, I think are something you just have to take on faith.

Faith, remember is something you do when there is insufficient evidence to make an educated descision. I think that's what kids are about, you decide that you want them without any evidence either for or against. You won't really know if it's the right thing until you are there, you just have a feeling that it will be right.

And that's all you have to go on.

For me, it was enough. I love my son and I'm so glad he's here to enrich my world.

Where to now?

We have decided that we are soon to outgrow our little unit that we've called home for the past 3 years. But the problem is of course, where to now? We've been looking around and for Sydney, its a bleak outlook. Either move far away out west, away from family and work else buy something that is not fit for habitation.

Surely there must be a way somewhere inbetween? I'm hoping so. We all need somewhere to live but you would hope there are more options than that for someone with modest means.

We are meeting with the mortgage broker tonight to see what they can do for us. Here's hoping its something!

Stepping Down

I have just spent the last month being the boss here at work. I quite enjoyed the responsibility and the sense of achievement on getting things done. Now that by boss is back from leave I have to step down and play the role of techie again.

Now I feel like I have nothing to do. There wasn't even a formal handover, update or anything of the like. He's just in command now, no questions asked. I have no authority over anything as of this morning.

It's a bit disappointing. I felt like I was doing a good job but I don't feel like I will be thanked for it or shown any recognition.

Are these the signs that tell me its time to move on? Am I taken for granted here? Who knows. I'm too comfortable. I know that much. Living close to work makes it too easy. Makes me complacent. Yet who wouldn't want the cushy life at work? As long a they look after me why would anyone want anymore?

I don't know. Do you?

My family

This is the reason for getting a new camera! What a difference it makes. We've just recently decided that the quality of the pictures coming out of our video camera just don't cut the mustard. Thus we've gotten ourselves a nice new digital SLR and look at the results!

I think capturing the rapid changes in my little son was a very good reason for our purchase. Its something you really wouldn't want to miss. The quality is such a step up from the video camera that the effect is amazing.

I'm looking forward to taking thousands of my sons development. I might not have another son so I better catching it now.

Skulker

I'm always the sort of person that is into things years after they are cool hip trendy or just plain in. Take Skulker for instance, I heard them around 2003 when they were at the height of their popularity. I subsequently when out and bought their latest CD, then their first CD. I really love their music and wanted to know what was happening with them.

Of course since I got into it all so late by the time I was interested it was all over. Skulker is now history. Gone and forgotten. Their website no longer exists and noone has heard from them since 2004. It saddens me to think that music that certainly spoke to me so well and presumably many others dies so silently as it has.

But then stardom is fleeting and perhaps after 10 years at it the girls just wern't into it anymore. Who knows? I certainly don't. Never saw them live, never bought any of their singles. Just plain got into it all too late to be useful.

At least I still have their music to remind me of what it must have been like. Thank you Skulker for at least rocking for a while and managing to plonk down a couple of solid albums.

Worse than a Pet, More than a Toy

Sometimes its hard to come to grips with how to deal with a new little addition to the household. I'm talking about a newborn baby. I've now had one as part of my home for a couple of weeks now and I'm still getting used to how I should think about this newcomer.

Ok, when you have a pet , say a cat, in your house, you know certain things about this pet. You know when they are hungry and thus you feed them or shoo them away if you fed them 5 minutes ago. When they are not hungry, they are generally taking care of themselves. They don't need to wear nappies which need changing but on the other hand they cannot communicate any more than a baby can. All you get are general emotional states like hungry, sleepy, or content.

Alternatively, if you have a toy, you play with it, you touch it, perhaps dress it up and you enjoy how it looks. You don't have any obligations beyond that, it is there purely for your pleasure.

So, from these two opposites, you have a newborn baby. Something that can only give you a vague idea about how it's feeling, sleepy hungry or just generally upset. On the odd occasion you might get content.

Yet this little person also requires continuing maintenance. Nappies need changing, stomachs need filling with warm milk and yes, on the odd occasion he needs entertaining.

All of these things take some adjustment. Learning to deal with a baby who cannot communicate what is wrong is hard. Learning to deal with someone elses waste is well, icky. Learning to love this little thing, is easy, yet learning all these things at once can be hard.

So far, I'm loving it. Yet being the male I get the easy job. The hard part is dealing with all of these issues when you've had little sleep, its 3am and the baby is crying for reasons you cannot fathom. That's where I take my hat off to my wife who despite not having foresight about all this is dealing with all of it as best she can. All I can do is support her any way I can.

To all those contemplating parenthood I say this, know as best you can how you deal with the unknown under adverse circumstances. Then you will know how you will deal with parenthood.

Either way, its all worth it.

What a big world

From Nicholas

Its such a big world that this little bundle of ours has entered. Everything must seem strange to him. I can fully understand him loosing it every now and then. We just need to be ready to comfort him when it call gets a bit much.

So far we are doing ok at that. Sometimes he sleeps for hours without a peep, other times he's not a happy camper even after a nice big feed. He's still learning and so are we.

And I'll try and keep you all posted on our progress. Heading into our second night at home with the little man and we're optimistic!

Don't forget the photos: http://picasaweb.google.com/rruckley/Nicholas

Its a Boy!

From Nicholas

Yes its a boy and these are the proud parents. Nicholas was born 7:46pm on the 24th of January, 2007 weighing 3.76 kg or 8lbs 4 ounces to those who need it.

Both mum and bub are doing well and we are all very pleased with our new little addition.

Look forward to seeing you all and posting some more pics when I get a chance.

39 weeks and counting...

Yep it could be any day, parenthood. I don't know quiet what we are in for but it's going to be soon...

Fingers crossed.

Almost there

Yes, we are now officially only three weeks away from parenthood. Of course nothing ever comes on time, especially not babies but we can still hope.

So far we believe we are as ready as we can be. Everything is in place and all the books are read. Now it just comes down to waiting. And more waiting until we know something is happening.

We have our names picked out and we even have the bags packed for hospital. Now we just waiting for anything that will let us know things are getting close.

Hope you are all keeping some appendages crossed for us.

Woo ADSL2

I've joined the ranks of Uber geeks today as my ADSL2+ finally started working.
Shame on optus for only allowing their ServiceNET to work with IE. I couldn't agree to the terms and conditions via firefox under linux I had to get the lappy out to agree.

But once I did that it works. My modem now says I'm connected at 11Mbs!!!

Woo to fast Internet.

Thats all, just a quick gloat!

Virtual Nursery

Well I've gone and out geeked myself by uploading a video of our nursery. I don't do any corny commentary on it, just a quick 360 around the room so you can get an idea of it.

Here is the video:

Almost There...

For those of you who have been keeping a vague eye on my slow painful progress through uni will be almost thrilled to know that I have my last undergraduate (yes yes I know) exam tomorrow.

This will mark the end of 14 years of suffering (minus 6 years in the middle where I wasn't actually at uni) for something that takes most of us only 3 years.

So I'm slow and lazy, but you all knew this anyways. I mean how long does it take me to organise a simple BBQ ?

So, with the well wishes of you all behind me (or something) I will embark tomorrow on the last wrist straining nerve wracking exam I will have to do for a long time ( until I start my CCNP that is).

I'm looking forward to not having to look forward to the next assignment test or exam. Yay and three rounds for my sanity.

Of course, for some parts I have actually enjoyed the learning process and for a while there entertained the idea of doing a Masters, but I fear that other new developments may take over my life and the idea of study may seem like a distant memory to me.

BTW, for those of you interested, I don't find out if I have actually qualified for my degree till after 19th of Dec so here's hoping I managed to forget all about it before then.

Talk to you all soon.

New Blog

Greetings,

I have decided to fork off my geek stuff from my other insightful views on the world. Now my geek stuff (which would normally bore the hind leg off a turkey) is on a seperate geek for those who follow such interesting things to read.

http://nurdland.blogspot.com

Enjoy.

Nursery Complete

Yep, we've done it. We now have a complete nursery and 3 months ahead of schedule!! We picked up the cot and change table yesterday afternoon and assembled them last night. They look lovely. I might just go and take a picture for you all so you can see how it looks. Well I have just run into the bub room and taken a picture of the furniture that we've now got. In the picture to the left you can see the cot in the corner and the change table next to it.
For those that are keen next to the change table is the poo containment device and then the pram at the far right.

Then for the picture at the right you can see our tallish boy with the toybox sitting next to it. Bonus points for those that can spot the cool little green lamp that was only $8 at bunnings!

So that's out little bubs room for those that wanted to know. Yes there a more interesting things to talk about, but this is our life at the moment so that's all we have to share for now. We'll keep you posted on things that are happening!

Later.

Bub Stuff

For those of you that don't know, we are expecting. Whilst that in of itself is exciting, it is a long wait which can stretch on a bit. 9 months is a long time!

But lo, what being pregnant is really about is buying lots of new things. That's the exciting bit to tide you over until your life is turned upside down by that noisy bundle of joy!

So, today we recieved word that the rest of our bub furniture has arrived! We're so excited! Something new to play with. Something to pickup, lug up the stairs and assemble. Then we get to admire it from all angles and then dress it up with stuff.

Though sadly, it is almost the last thing we've had to buy for this bub (so far that is) . No more big purchases until they get a car!

Well ok, I'm sure there will be some small things in between but hey, they're not as exciting as big things that require assembly.

Anyways, I know I've been quite of late, bugger wise and all and I hope you all miss me!

I will post more often as baby stuff comes along 'cos that's really where the exciting stuff is.

Talk to you all soon.

1. This is a test document. I wanted to see if this interface is any better than the one they had before.
2. It's not that it wasn't functional over at writely but it was slow and that's not what I expected from google. But this seems good and fast and nothing seems
3. to be slowing me down. Which is a good thing.

Hunted

I was head hunted the other day. Out of the blue. Talked about the role...offering more significantly more $$$ than I am on now.

So yes I was interested. But then he mentioned the travel. And I guess to some people that would be a bonus for the job but for me (and us) with a child on the way it's just not viable. The travel would have been 5 times a month in Canberra, twice a month interstate and twice a year overseas. I mean it sounds nice but really with a kid on the way I don't think that's the way to start.

Besides I'm really comfy where I am . Which I guess means that it will be a long time before I go anywhere. I mean I just can't imagine this degree of autonomy. I like running my day how I see fit and persuing what technical improvements I think would be good.

This job has a mix of everything I like, freedom, geekiness and stuff to play with. What more could you want? Oh and it's close to home.

Does this sound like I'm trying to justify staying put in a job that I've been in for over 6 years? Yes it does? Well , I guess that's what I'm doing. It's not all about the money.

Well there you have it. Only the second time I have ever been head hunted.

Ego

I was thinking the other day about what makes us do things. What motivates us and drives us to suceed. I find myself now rather blessed with ambition something that years ago would have seemed alien to me.

Yet I do not know how I got here exactly and it's strange to think that I quite enjoy this side of myself.

So, I was given to thinking these things and came to the conclusion that it all comes down to the ego. I have one, you have one, most people seem to have them. It really is a matter of how much we let our ego's influence our thoughts and actions.

When it comes to me I have to admit that I have a healthy ego but it is this very health that lets me think that I will do well. By believing that I will do well I end up with ambition to do well.

Does that make sense? These thoughts are just coming out as I type so I would expect not a lot of sense.

So you see I have a desire to prove to people that I am smart and that by being smart I will go places. From spending too much time at uni to never getting anything finished I was furnished with a measure of guilt that I have wasted my time that I have left things too late.

But now, with ambition brought about my ego I feel more and more powerful. I feel like I can pull off anything if I just let my ego drive me. I feel like I am a force that can reckon with others on an equal level despite my brain (which has always seemed like a hindrance).

Yes, it's a ramble. It's random thoughts but do you get what I'm saying?

By having a healthy ego (sometimes a bit too healthy) I am able to say to myself, yes I can do that, yes I am _going_ to do that and I desrve to do well.

I like my ego. I like me. And that's where I want to be.

Oh, and I love my wife and our little bunny.

Over and out.

My Piano

Yesterday I had my piano delivered out of storage. It had been there fore over two years since my parents sold their house and I didn't have room for it in my unit.

But the storage company is no longer doing storage and so I had to move it somewhere. Turns out it fits nicely in my garage and still leaves room for the car! So woo there.

The thing that got me most was how it felt to have a play on it again. It's obviously been over two years since I've played it and most likely since I've played a real piano at all.

And oh how I miss it. How different it feels from an electronic keyboard no matter how weighted the keys are. There is just some extra character that comes from the mechanical-ness of it all.

Whilst I was having a brief flitter over the keys (yes my fingers still worked!!) one of my neighbours wandered past and commented that it sounded like someone was playing the piano!

What an obvious thing yes but I guess you don't expect to hear pianos in garages. She commented that perhaps we (as in people in general) would hear more of me. I was quite happy by that comment. I am so used to people telling me to stop playing, or be quiet or such things. Like the sound of a piano is annoying or such.

Well, I'm looking forward to having the occasional tinkle on it. Working out my frustrations in music I think is the best therapy one can employ!

Thank you for listening.

Respect

It's an interesting word. Yet how does one get it? I've been thinking about that over the last few months and haven't really come up with anything useful.

I mean sure, I know what I respect. Friend of mine running his own business, I respect that. I'm sure it's not easy, and there is no rest. But he's out there following his dream and you gotta respect him for that.

Or perhaps someone who has a big boat or house that you can look up to and say , yes you've obviously worked hard to get these things. That's gotta be worth respect.

Or perhaps someone who's had to endure coming out to his friends and family. I mean that's got to be the hardest thing to do. I respect that. I can't ever imagine having the gonads to pull that off yet he has.

Yet none of this helps me get respect. I mean how do I get respect? I don't have money. I have little time to gather significant wealth markers. I don't think I have any dark secret that would justify anything near the respect I have for someone coming out.

So what is it that I can do? Perhaps I can just lead a life that I am not ashamed of. Look after my wife and raise my kids as best I can? Does that seem like something worthy of respect. Despite being an all too comon thing that many many people have done before me?

Ok, if you agree with me that this is worthy, then why does it seem that there is so little respect going around these days? What makes someone think that respect is gotten from having a fully sick car or a concealed weapon? Where did our values get so warped to think that these things warrant anything?

I continue to wonder about how afraid we are and how little we respect each other. I am worried that the things we do sway others against us.

So there is nothing else I can think of for this post. At least I have unburnded my soul to you all and now you can ponder the same questions that I have. Won't that be nice!

Duff Man

Get in sync

Get in sync: "Posted by Brian Rakowski, Product Manager

What could be worse than forgetting to bookmark the obscure page you found that maps out the perfect walking tour of Venice? Having bookmarked it on the computer sitting on your desk back at home, 6000 miles away, instead of on the laptop you brought along. Or how about the frustration of being on a new computer and not remembering your passwords because your browser on your old computer automatically filled them in for you?

These sorts of frustrations inspired us to build a Firefox extension that keeps your browser settings for all your computers in sync. Google Browser Sync unifies your bookmarks, history, saved passwords, and persistent cookies across all the computers where you install it. It also remembers which tabs and windows you had open when you last closed any of your browsers and gives you a chance to reopen them. We think you'll enjoy how it handles sync conflicts and 'just works,' enabling you to bring your browser with you everywhere.

Meanwhile, we've also been improving version 2 of the Google To"

Loosing Touch

I felt a bit sad on the weekend.

Let me explain why.

On the weekend I was at a gathering of friends. At this gathering a long time friend was there with a new girlfriend. At least that was what I gathered. This is all cool and I'm happy for him but I felt like and outsiding coming into that situation which apparantly everyone else present was aware of.

And these people had known her also from previous times which I wasn't aware.

I guess I was feeling like I wasn't really part of this group anymore. I know this isn't really the case, these people are still my friends I've just not recently made the effect to hang out and do stuff that friends do.

It's all to easy for me to blame other things like distance and time but these are people that all willing to give up these things when call upon for me so I don't see thats really why.

Perhaps I feel these people no longer have time for me that I'm no longer important to them. But I also feel this is not the case.

The truth is harder than that. To be honest I'm just lazy. Sleeping in is better than getting up and doing things sometimes and doing things at home is better than going out and doing things.

Thus I end up doing little and going no where to the result that I don't see anyone (bar my lovely wife) and don't keep up relationships with the people that I would want to.

It's a sad thing when you loose touch with your friends. Things change yes but that's no reason to give up on your friends. It's all to easy to be lazy and not make the effort and hope that they don't do the same to you. If they do then it's all over and your left on your own.

So to those of you out there, I dont mean to do this and I want to change things for the better but sometimes life doesn't make it easy and sometimes we're predisposed to think of ourselves first before others.

So hey, I'll be looking to visit y'all sometime soon. Just you wait.


--
The Duff Man.

Some birds I met

What do you think of this pair? Both of them giving me the eye hey!

This is a photo I took ages ago, can't even remember when, out on my balcony one day where I found about 14 of these beauties on there hoping for a feed.

Of course I just took their photo and lef t them there. I mean I don't know what they were thinking looking for food at my place.

This was of course before I got married.

Just a little bit for you all. 

The structure of life

I often wonder what drives me to such different ends.

Ok I must explain. Often I am driven into a cleaning frenzy at home (or even at the office) which to me is out of character. Other times I am driven to lazy boughts of TV watching.

I feel like I am torn between the structure and routine side of life and the free form, do whatever kind of living. Yet I am at a loss to find a balance. Is there a balance? Am I talking total twallop?

I don't know. I just know that there must be a happy medium in the middle with just enough lazing around and just enough routine and order to make even someone like me happy.

I guess if we had choice we wouldn't do anything? Does that mean that it's choosing between what must be done and what is nice to do? Work and Play? Enjoying life and just getting on with it?

I guess our internal happiness depends a lot on how we feel about our lot in life. If there were no play and all work then you would tend to get depressed surely. If there were no work and all play I could imagine you would get bored quickly.

Work gives us a sense of purpose.

Play gives us a sense of selfishness.

Makes sense to me.

Climbing at last

After many a stressful leadup I finally convinced someone to come along and climb with me last wednesday night. I was surreal for the first few minutes then it was business as usual as I attempted to beat my boss into submission. Unfortunately he won doing a few climbs that I couldn't do. Then again he downgraded on a couple too.

I guess in the end it's all fair.

Just thought I'd tell you all that. For those of you that didn't make it well I'm always keen on wed nights (for at least this semester).


Ryan the climb nazi.

Dilbert in the Flesh

For years I have been looking for this to appear in Australian stores...

Imagine my surprise then when I found the complete Dilbert Series at JB on DVD!!

Yes this is the cartoon version of Dilbert!! Only ever aired briefly on 10 but now I have all of it in my grubby little hands. Yes and it's all good.

For someone who reads Dilbert every day this is a goldmine. I'm already through the first disk and onto the second but I should really get some work done.

My Little Bushfire

We had a nice scare yesterday when a bushfire started around 5pm out the back of our other building. Burnt all the way up to the carpack out back. Firies where there till 7am this morning dealing with it all.

Smelt like a bushfire when I got home. Haven't been this close to a bushfire in ages.

In the photo you can see the logs that you would normally park your car against. These were smouldering this morning.

The building to the right is our building. Not very far away really.

Oh well, thought you'd all like to know.

My Google Pages

Well in case noone knows here is my google pages.

http://rruckley.googlepages.com/

Very exciting but at least I will have someone looking at it. Even if it is me.

I will also link to it via the links at the side.

Thanks for watching my channel.

Neighbourhood Grrr

Lying awake in bed last night, I was listening to an argument breaking out across the laneway. I couldn't help but think about what it is that brings people to this point where they are so agressive towards one another.

If we hadn't of closed the window early on you could have heard what it was they were arguing about but you could certainly here the doors being slammed and things being thrown (or at least that's what I imagined).

I couldn't help wondering if it is a certain type of personality that takes people to this point. Or perhaps its an intelligence thing. All I know is growing up I learnt confrontation avoidance from my dad. I now never want to get anywhere near a conflict even when perhaps I should.

It's a hard questions to answer as to the appropriate level of anger. My answer for a long time has been that no anger is appropriate, that anger is a symptom of lack of emotional control. But I know how that this is not the case. I'm learning but I'm still not understanding.

I don't want to slam doors and throw objects at people yet I don't want to completely avoid confrontation either.

Grrr. Does that help?

Just around the corner

Peoples,
So I've been watching these units go up from since when it was two federation houses that I was upset about. I guess Sydney needs more space for the more people and who'd want to live in any house right next to thousands of units...

What do you think then of these? Worth as much as a 70s 2 bedder but pretty spic inside, yet only single bedder. If only we had the money to invest it would be kinda cool.

Just been thinking about future options and stuff thus the real estate posting...

http://www.hamiltonandco.com.au/cgi-bin/csrch/csrch.pl?tmpl=details&col=2&c=68957454&tm=1143093462&&f=12&p=4&tot=30&t=res&st=&propid=103060727

Have fun!

Uber Geek

I should point out that I've added another page and more content to my google page. Not that its really important...but hey I'm trying here.

http://rruckley.googlepages.com/

Google, what can't they do?

I've just whipped up a simple homepage with Googles new page creator site. Nice interface and all that jazz that you've come to expect from Google. Makes you wonder what they are going to push through it? Online adds in your own site? My blog already has google ads in it. Not that that earns me any money.

Check out my page anyways. Its here somewhere.

Another cool thing (not that I own any shares) is the http://finance.google.com site. I can get info on all shares that interest me. Slick interface again and I like the news links into the graph. Very nice idea.

Anyways, I'm just sitting here at work waiting for the coffee machine to start working.

I can see my (sisters) house from here!

Well ok it's been a while but something just got my attention:

Google has a UK maps now (well they must have for a while but I didn't know about it!). So first thing I do is look up where my sister lives!

Some of you may have even been there before but here is the map reference anyway:

http://maps.google.co.uk/?ll=54.545086,-2.954249&spn=0.047198,0.084286

She lives past the end of that road to the left of the town. Isn't that cool? Yes its remote but it's very beautiful out there. Makes me wish I could afford to go back and visit!

Well there you have it. Something exciting for almost hometime!

--
Ryan Uber Nerd.

Total Arnie

For those total sci-fi geeks out there I finally laid my hands on a copy of Total Recall after many years searching. Finally get to recite two weeks ad nauseum. Ahh the bliss of it all...I even had a promise from my wife that she will watch it!

I can finally rest in my DVD quest now that I have this spot filled. Sure there are other classics out there...Blade Runner or or um, well I'm sure there are more.

Needless to say I think I've had enough tea for today.

Are we afraid yet?

I've just been sitting here reading about all the furour over the infamous cartoons of some certain prophet. You know what? I'm almost sure that most of the people out there that are up in arms have not seen these cartoons and are only looking for reason to decry the wrongness of western society.

I'm sorry but that just pisses me off. I mean really I've always thought that Australia was a multicultural place. Meaning of course that we have lots of cultures in little pockets, none of which mingle.

This isn't totally true, there are lots of cultures out there that don't have a problem with each other. Its when one culture says to another, I'm better than you therefore you have to do things my way, that the trouble begins.

Ok, I've already said enough. I don't think me adding to the debate is really going to do anything but geez, to quote a famous movie, can't we all just get along?

Are you all still there

Ok, as you can see I'm getting bored with this blogging thing.

My issue is that it's a one way medium essentially.

Well ok it is for me. Noone comments on my posts so I have to assume that they are not interesting else noone reads them.

Well what can I do to make them interesting? I don't know. Perhaps I'm not interesting inherantly and thus can never make an interesting blog.

Of course my ego says otherwise and thus I'll keep plugging away at it and see if it gets me anywhere.

The other more real excuse of course is that I simply don't have the time to pour my brain out into this place once a day. I should make time but work is one of those things that takes your time away without every saying sorry.

So here is this meta-blog entry for you to think about.

On other news, I'm almost up to date with the Pottering. One more book to finish and I'll be part of the club!

Looking forward to blurting out crap in the near future...

Hello Peoples

Sorry for not blogging for a while but just been feeling a bit off.

When I get sick its rare that its bad enough to knock me down and out it just kicks me down a notch. Thus for the last week I'm sure I've had something, being really tired slightly sore throat but its just not enough to stay home from work.

Yet at the same time I'm just not feeling well enough to splurge on a blog entry.

Sorry for those of you that hang on my every word.

Better luck next time.

Easter Already?

Has anyone else noticed that since christmas is all but over the stores are pushing out the next run of goods...easter eggs!!!

Now I would have thought that the cost of having these eggs on shelfs for two extra months is not really outweighed by the extra profits of all those people buying them.

If I didnt have little nieces and newphews I would so love to boycott the whole easter egg thing. I really dont see the point of it all for a religious event.

But when you see their faces upon recieving egg after egg you cant stand there and be the evil uncle not handing some out! Its just too hard.

You may as well tag easter the chocolate festival and leave it at that.

So I dont Rock

Do you remember that sinking feeling when you know you've just fucked up big time but are beyond the point of no return.

The time when you play through in your head all the nice saves that you know are impossible, just so you don't have to face the magniture of your fuckup.

Well I was there yesterday. Without getting into details I did an upgrade that has now turned sour. Trying now to work out how to get things back on track.

I hate feeling stupid yet doing stupid things does it. At this point I have no confidence in myself or my abilities...but I guess I will feel better later when I somehow manage to recover what I have put awry.

I Rock!

Ok, well I'm not a rock god or anything but I did get my Uni results back today and I'm proud to say yet another Distinction. My fifth since returning to uni. I only wish I could have worked this hard the first time around rather than doing it the hard way!

But it's a good feeling to know that I am smart and that I can do this. Now just to finish.

The Secret Life of Others

Ever wonder what your friends think of you? Or your co-workers. Something their not going to say to your face, yet they might say online in a chatroom or a blog.

I wonder, is it wrong to check out other peoples online musings just to get a feel for your own worth? I mean come one, we all get worried sometimes about how we are percieved in the world, so why would it be a bad thing?

If you put stuff out there you shouldn't really expect it to go unnoticed. I mean that's why I'm here spewing out such drivel as I do. So that people like you will read my musings and think better of me. Think that somehow having taken this leap I am a better person.

But it's all bull really. Just another outlet for the mind to pour forth shite. Well ok not everything is shite...some of it might be considering insightful and witty. But usually I write here just 'cos I get a feeling about something or I'm feeling down. The I tell the world about it and somehow that makes it better.

So now my life isn't so secret. My thoughts are yours to digest. Maybe I'll let out some secrets but generally I'll just gripe about the world and offer my angle on it all.

There. Now doesn't that feel better?

Life under the Thumb

Tell most people you're married and they'll come back with some comment about your boss (ie your wife) or something about having to get a leave pass in order to go out.

Yet after being married almost 4 months I hate to say I can't see any of that!

Makes me think that some people have a raw deal in marriage. Then again I guess these musings come down to the compramises we have to make in order to live with someone. When we're single and living alone its the ultimate in freedom. Noone to check with noone to call when your home late. In theory its the ideal situation.

Yet after being married I wouldn't go back. The comprimise made is far outweighed by the joy of having a lovely wife to hang out with for ever and a day.

Wife: Yes, this is about you.


I think somehow the fact that we both went through the aguish of planning a wedding of our own accord means that we really want it. Doing that, liasing with families, bargining guest lists and tables working out what to do after. It all proves that we're on the right thing. If we faced these things and turned and ran, well that would be saying something wouldn't it!

I love my wife and I'm so glad I'm married.

Nuff said.

Please dont make me get up early again

Ok here's the deal. We've been having lots of eletrical work going on over the last month or so. Big deal you say? Well for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of working in close contact with electricians won't know that electricians for some unknown reason like to start work at 7am!! Even if they are commuting from the Central Coast (1hr away by car). This of course means that if you also don't start work at 7am then your electricians are sitting around for an hour or so waiting for you to come and let them in.

But don't think that means that just work back an hour. Oh no! They will still leave at their normal finishing time of 3pm. Thus you get sparkies that look to you to be very lazy.

So my point is why? Why do they have to start so early. Most of the working world doesn't! Well ok, all tradies seem to start early and having been the person to let them in early for the last week or so I'm beginging to wonder why. Why can't they just adjust to our hours and be done with it? Surely they wouldn't mind the sleep in? I know I would!

All right, it's a lame rant but dammit it's a rant! I'm tired and no amount of coffee is going to fix that this morning. Perhaps I should just sleep under my desk for an hour or so until someone else rocks up!

Grrr.

My Geekdom

Ok here is my confession:

Step 1. I am a geek.
Step 2. I am proud of that fact.
Step 3. Noone else is.

You see, I like being geeky and yet I feel that noone else appreciates my geekyness. Perhaps this is why geeks cluster together thus aggrevating the whole isolation a geek feels when attempting to interface with the real world.

But I have to go now...duty calls, I will blog again soon and expose my geekiness to the world!!

Bye for now.

The Routine of life

It's funny the love hate relationship we have with routine. On the one hand we like to think of ourselves as free creatures able to do what we like when we like.

Yet we are bound to routine by life . If you want to live you have to eat.
If you want to eat you must shop, cook and cleanup. Washing must be done. So many things are dictated to us by outside (or inside) influences. We are not really as free as we would believe.

When the routines of life fall apart we find ourselves not really living anymore.

During my whole kitchen upgrade all the usual routines fell aside. Not just the ones you would assosicate with a kitchen upgrade. Yes cooking stopped. But shopping also stopped. Clothes washing stopped. And general tidyness had to stop.

This is where humans natural lazyness comes through. We have to work to survive but given the choice we would revert to our natural lazy mode albiet to conserve energy that is so precious!

When one routine stops it becomes much easier to justify not doing other things. Much easier to do less than not.

I cant help wonder what the future holds when technology makes it easier and easier to live. Where things like shopping and cooking and cleaning are done for us. What then? What will we become when we revert to lazy mode all the time? Who knows. I for one would prefer doing things myself if I can help it. Makes me feel like I am actually responsible for my survival when I know full well I'm not. No matter what I do society will take pains to protect me from myself and itself from me.

Therefor I conclude I'm not really a free agent doing what I want when I want. I am a social creature doing what I have to in order to get along. Working to live, living for some undefinable goal that I may never achieve.

I hope it's all worth it.

Phew I made it

Finally I have finished the uni year with hopefully a good result. For having missed many weeks of lessons and having unintelligable lecterers I think I have done well.

Ok, quick background...I've been slaving away at my uni degree for 13 years now and hopefully I will be able to complete it in my 14th. Having started straight out of school I got disenfranchised with the whole process, seeing people pass by cramming before exams, coming out with degree without any understanding of the material.

But now I'm back with a vengance, trying to finish my degree before the kids come along. Trying to justify this huge task by nothing more than a sense of acomplishment. Big call if you ask me.

It would be different if I'd been promised more money at work from having completed a degree but I know that' s not going to happen. I got this far without it, why would having one make a difference? And it's not like the knowledge I'm learning is that useful to what I do, yet at some level I feel better for having known it.

No, to be honest my real reason is for my kids. I want to be able to say to them that it was worth it. Going through the process is almost as important as the stuff you supposedly learn. I want to be able to face my kids down the track and show them my degree (if such things are still relavent) and encourage them to do the same. I don't want them to be academically lazy like I was. Taking the easy way out might be well easy but it takes much longer to get where you're going. I'm only finally getting somewhere where I wanted to be and I've only been at it 8 years.

Sigh. That's my rant for this week!

See you all next week.

Finally

For those of you on the edge of your seats...
My Kitchen is finally being completed tomorrow. Mind you this ins't the end as they still haven't sorted out the range hood, but for the most part there will be a complete kitchen that we can use. Having a kitchen that was missing a kitchen sink is like having no kitchen at all!

It will be so good to finally pack everything back into the kitchen again and start using it!

I'm so happy I've been humming. Now ain't that wierd!

My cutie pie

Isn't she beautiful? What more could a man want than a beautiful bride who can make cute faces!!

For those that don't know, I was recently married ( I think I might have blogged about it) and this was one of the photos from the day. It's amazing how quickly we get used to the concept of being married yet long for it for so long. You would think we wouldn't be able to get over ourselves once over the threshold but yet here I am calmly talking about the most fantastic day in my life as though it was a thing I do every other weekend!

Yet on remembering, it is a really fantastic thing and I'm so glad I did it. It's such a comfortable thing to have a friend always on hand, someone to hang with, talk with and just you know be with all the time.

Well, I should stop here before I get too mushy. Isn't good for the audience I hear.

Later. 

Almost there....broom

I think I must be in the running for the longest running car repair. Just rang the shop where my other car is housed awaiting repairs. I can't recall exactly but I believe it's been over a year that it has been there. So, having spoken to him I asked what the status was and was told that it would be early next year that he would be able to get to it. I guess it's a low priority job for him!!

On the upside, I was told that it's still fully functional and working fine. And he always keeps it inside when the shop is closed so I guess that's something. It's still works and it's not weathering away.

Still, I would like to get it back onto my turf...clean her up and look after it again...it's been a bit of a curse this car having only really been on the road a couple of years in the last 7!

Oh well, cars are the bain of our modern lives. We couldn't function without them yet they cause us untold grief. All this before considering cars we might have a soft spot for.

Never fear, I will keep you all posted for the eventual return of my car!

Grrrr

Ok, so tomorrow is Melbourne Cup day (its a horse race) and normally I don't give a shite about it. But tomorrow for reasons unknown to me, my two colleages are going on a harbour cruise at the invite of our of our vendors. Why am I not going you ask? Well aparantly I don't exist. Else this company doesn't know that I exist. I wasn't invited and thus am not going.

I know I shouldn't care about such things given that I don't care about Melbourne Cup day and all that but it irks me that my junior is going to a vendor sponsored shindig and I'm not. I hate feeling left out and I can't understand why this vendor omitted myself. I deal with them just as much as anyone else here so I don't understand it.

Needless to say I'm not happy but I will expect that tomorrow whilst my boss and the junior are out on this cruise that I will be sitting here not being happy. Perhaps I'll blog about it...but I should get over it. I've had the odd vendor sponsored thing before. I just don't like being forgotten or ignored or unknown.

Then again I guess most people don't.

Grrr.

You'd think they'd know what they were doing...

Ok, This is a blantent gripe so...
I can't get why a kitchen company isn't very good at doing kitchens

Well ok, lets look at this a little more objectively...so far we have had 4 things missing from out delivery. This is potentially going to push back the completion of the kitchen costing them more money in extra tradie hours to finish the job on another day. So why are they not careful in checking these things out? Who knows. Probably the same reason the delivery men started unloading the kitchen before checking for payment.

People are fallible. It's a fact of life. People fuck up and other wear the shit. Oh well, I do at least have confidence that my kitchen will get finished eventually as I have a binding contract that says so. As for getting the kitchen done by the weekend which is what has been stipulated...I'm not holding my breath.

There, I feel much better. Better for having pushed these thoughts out into the aether were noone will read them but I will at least be rid of them.

Hmm, now back to my coffee...

Official Google Blog: Bird flu basics

I'm so over it

Ever get yourself into a situation where you're thinking, "How on earth did I get here?". I was thinking that last night whilst I was tiling my kitchen floor. Wondering how long I'm going to remember all the little bumps that I _know_ are there. How long it will be before I forget how hard it was to tile that damn floor and how tired I feel now as a result. My guess is at least 10 years. So my hope is it will be another 10 years before I attempt tiling again. Lets hope thats the case. It seems like a good idea at the time, do your own tiling save lots of money. But for reasons beyond my comprehension I was unable to foresee things that last night were very obvious!

Thus I have compliled this handly list for would be tilers who think its a good idea to do their own tiling:

• You can never have enough spacers. Running out of spaces is a _bad_ thing. Forget having a floor you can be proud of, try having a floor you can bear to look at!
• Motar gets everywhere! Yes everywhere. During post tiling showering (next moring) I found unknown bits of concrete stuck to my skin like some medival disease!
• Emergency cutting is something to be prepared for. Tiles never fit the same as when you laid them. Be prepared to trim tiles to fit...even if it means eliminating spacers to do so!
• Tiles set real quick so make sure you get them in the right place at the right time. Finding that the row you did 10 minutes ago is slightly out of place is too bad as you cant change it now. If it means your carefully cut tiles no longer fit, tough, you never expected it to look professional did you?
• Those careful lines you drew on the floor during layout to keep your tiles nice and straight are no longer useful. Funny how you don't expect that to be a problem beforehand. Let me tell you, when you stick a tile down, it doesn't just sit there, it floats around meaning it goes wherever it wants (until it butts up against something else that is). So even though you think just by pushing tiles up against each other is enough to ensure a straight floor...it isnt!!
• When you cover 3 rows in 1 hr, don't expect another 3 rows to take another hour. I think tiling sufferes from an exponential decay in tiling rate. You start at some enthusiastic rate and slowly decay to a much much slower one which results in your early "we'll be done in two hours" claim to fall by the wayside. I'm attributing this to two factors:

1. You can't possibly estimate how tired you'll get tiling. I mean I love crawling around on the floor on my hands and knees...but not normally for 6 hrs!!!
2. You slowly realize what a shoddy job you did at the begining and start trying to be more careful...the result? Each tile now takes 5 minutes to line up...and then it doesn't stay put.

Ok. Nuff said on that topic...Next week...how to tile your walls without getting shite all over your nice new kitchen benches!!!

--
Long live the duff.

Sometimes I wonder

Sometimes I wonder, what it's all about.
I sit and I stare at the birds and the bees,
At the swaying trees,
And I wonder.
Why do I feel tired all the time?
Why do I wonder about never feeling fine?
Sometimes I wonder about the point of it all,
Then I look outside, end up feeling small.
Its a nice gentle afternoon sunset outside and I miss sitting and watching the day fade. Seems as though there isn't time to live anymore. Too much to do and no time to do it. Yet we resign outselves to this fate as though its better than not doing anything. I guess I feel better to be getting somewhere than sitting watching the world go by.
Yet sometimes I wish that there was more watching and less madly running towards unseen goals.

I think I need more beer.

It's all over

You know, for something that you spend 18 months planning, a wedding is over awfully quickly. It seems like ages ago that I was getting my car washed on the big day. But then you have to think about the consequences of that day. I'm now married. I have a spouse. My best friend now lives with me. I have a special ring. These are all good things! I guess it's the start of the journey. It's like planning a big overseas trip. You spend ages planning for something that in reality is relatively short, yet once you have gone on the trip, you realize when you come back that your changed. You are no longer someone who hasn't been anywhere. Thus I've done been somewhere and done something by being married.

It's all about the journey.

Next month I'll be one who has done a kitchen...

Life is boring when you're small

Sorry but really, I'm at a loss. Nothing really exciting is happening except my work is being bought by Optus. Which I guess is a good thing. I mean they've said they're not going to break us up or assimulate us borg style. But who knows what will happen. As long as I have a job I shouldn't care too much. But then I find myself caring for this place and my place in it. You get attached. It feels like a second home we spend so much time here.

And sometimes it makes you feel small when you get swept up with the wave of it all. The company gets sold without you having anything to do with it. Makes you feel like one of those proverbial grains of sand swept along with the tide. Lets hope is a good surf!

The Farcity of it all

Ok, before I launch into my tirade about the movie industry let me just explain my title. I'm not talking about a city that is far away, I'm talking about the 'farce'-ness of it all.

Ok, now I will continue my rant...

The other night I was rung up on the phone by some market research people. Now normally I would insist that now was not a good time, nor was any other time (as the usually try to tee up another time to harass you!), but in this instance the caller was neither indian nor malaysian or any other nationalality that insists on outsources english speaking call centres! Secondly the market researcher was asking about movies, something that interests me. So for a change I gave the person the time of day...or night as it was.

Turns at, during the course of the questions that I realized that this market research was infact the bread and butter of the movie industry today. The questions were about the upcoming Die Hard 4 movie that according to IMDB was in preproduction (ie writing the script) stage. I was being asked questions about the plot, would it be good to have this, or that. How important was this, or that.

Seems to me that Hollywood no longer bothers trying to come up with a good story, they just milk the preexisting ones. Not only that, they can't even replicate a story without asking people if they will go and see if before they've even written the script!! Interestingly enough the market reasearcher told me the plot involved Bruce McClain and his son whilst IMDB spoke of a father/daughter team that save America from the evil terrorists attacking the countries infrastructure. I mean geez, where did they get that idea from?

Makes you wonder how guillable we really are? I mean, perhaps these types of movies are subtlelly crafted works designed specifically to boost the American moral after years of economic downturn and increasing paranoia levels! I'm sure the movie will end with America being saved yet again from the evil terrorists!!

When will someone make a movie about the evil American terrorists that invide and take over contries without even so much as a reason.

Oh well, at least I know, when we officially become a state of the USA, we won't wont for moral boosting drivel.