My Story

1

A long time ago, I had a creative urge to write a story. Simple concept sure, many people have done it but I had little idea on what to write about nor how to go about it. I had great ideas having just read a book too many of the Russian greats but great ideas don't amount to much if you can't articulate your thoughts onto the written page.

I also had ego on my side. Nary a written has gotten by without it perhaps, but not being a writing I wasn't sure this was enough. Sure, my ego told me, anyone could write a book and you are surely greater than anyone so you must be able to write a book. Infallible logic if you ask me.

Next perhaps was the tools. Gone are the days a budding writer would have nothing but a pencil and paper, or perhaps an ancient type writer to slow down their thoughts. In the modern age we have computers and they allow the creative process to plough ahead at a speed greater than any one can think.

Of course that leads to anther problem one that I hadn't considered. If one tries to sit down at a computer and merely type what comes to his mind, I believe you will end up with a good deal of nothing. Gibberish you might say, as all you would be recording is your internal monologue and I can say there's a reason it's internal.

No one really wants to hear what goes on inside your head. Nor my head for that matter.

So far I have an idea, ego and the tools with which to create a great novel but I still had no idea about what to write. Sure, technically, anyone can write a book. Plenty of people do and I'm sure there's many an author who's written a single book, ticked it off their list and been happy to move on. Was that what I was trying to do here?

Surely there's more to writing a book than a case of stroking the ego. Really, why was I even trying to do this? I couldn't answer that question at the time so I merely ignored it and carried on with the project.

I would indeed get flashes of inspiration that led me to believe that it could be really that easy. I would start writing and get a few paragraphs in and think, but now what. How did one get from that flash of an idea to something much greater, a good story?

Was I kidding myself, I mean really? I guess to write a book you have to have some innate ability to tell a story. To make stuff up to draw people in. The guts of the story should just leap from the page right?

So why were the classes on writing, teaching people how to write? Was it because they couldn't articulate, or was it because my assumption that anyone could write was actually quite flawed?

I have to take a minute here to explain myself. I have long believed that anyone is capable of anything given the right stimulus and that innate ability at something just means that less stimulus is required. What stimulus is available determines what we make of ourselves. I have also long believed that am an example of that theory, believing that I could certainly pull off any human endeavour if I were given sufficient stimulus. Sounds easy right? Or perhaps ridiculous?

The question that I came to realize was two. Firstly, I came to realize that I was certainly naive about people. If you reword stimulation as motivation then yes surely you can motivate people to do just about anything. I guess on one hand you could hold a gun to someones head and tell them to write a book. Sure they will give it a go but that doesn't mean that it will be a great book or even a book that you could understand and take something away from. So I had to conclude that no, motivation wasn't sufficient to achieving your life's ambitions.

The second thing I came to realize was that I wasn't the perfect example of this theory. Certainly I could pull of a great many things but some things continued to elude me and I had to conclude that it wasn't always a lack of motivation that was the restriction.

So back to  the story of the book. Given that I had now concluded that I wasn't lacking in motivation or that I didn't have the innate ability, I had to think hard about whether I was understanding myself properly.

Why did I want to write this book? Just to prove that I could? To understand my creative side better? Or to prove to myself that I was capable of anything I had motivation to pull off and to prove to myself that my theory about people is true, that anyone can achieve anything given sufficient motivation?

So here I am thinking about writing a book to prove myself right on a theory that the world is wholly ignorant of (though perhaps it's already been done before) and which perhaps will have not benefit to anyone?

Again you ask, why bother?

Let me tell you a story then and perhaps you will understand my source of motivation. Well I was a much smaller person attending primary school, I had no less ego than I have today. I was scholastically lazy compared to my school mates and thus was variously bored at the whole process. During this time, I was set a creative writing assignment which I duly competed. After the teacher had marked all of the classes entries, he announced in front of the whole class that one students work was so good that he wanted to read it in front of the whole class.

Can you imagine? I was bored but not that bored that didn't pay attention at this point. So the teacher read out my assignment, his only comment was that it was incomplete. The story didn't finish but started beautifully.

Are you starting to understand? Here was a story that I had written with no particular purpose other  than to forfil the teachers requirements yet he found it sufficiently good to read to the whole class. I hadn't really thought before then about writing but as you can see it's an idea that has stuck with me ever since.

Later on during high school a similar situation unfolded. During an English assignment in year 10 I wrote something for a creative writing assignment. In this class you had the students that routinely did well and I was certainly not one of those. So you might imagine my surprise when our work was returned to us that the teacher had marked my work above everyone else in the class. Despite my earlier brush with success I hadn't thought about writing much since. This was a reminder that perhaps I did have some innate ability to write and perhaps I had something that some people would making a living from.

OK, enough background. Fast forward to the almost present and you find me attempting to write story after story. What happened?

As you may see, even though my teachers thought I had potential, what ever that may mean, I only ever started a story. I didn't really finish anything. I couldn't create that story arc that so defines the great stories of our time.

Yet the fact that I can now talk about story arcs shows you something of what I've learnt.

The fact that I am indeed not an author also says that I haven't not learn enough.

2

So, if you have managed to get this far then well done. I don't always stay on track and I write off the cuff so I haven't really planned this out but hopefully you will stay along for the journey if you find it interesting enough.

Many things in life we do because we think we should not necessarily because we actual want to. We get married because that is what is expected of us. Not many of us really know what it will be like getting married and perhaps if we did we never would. Similarly we have kids because we are expected too. Perhaps we also know that deep down that we do want kids no matter how horrible other people might make it seem.

I also had things that I did because that was what was expected of me. Take university for instance. Everyone wants to go there right? I would suggest that not many high school aged people actually know what they want to do with their lives. That's understandable, it's a very hard question to answer. How do you decide what to do with your life? What things do you value enough to dedicate your life to? You hear all the time about people who have made some discovery or scientific breakthrough after spending 20 years of the life dedicated to it. At high school, what student is passionate about something enough to want to dedicate their life to it? I can't think of one. Sure you have females who will say that want to be a mother and that will be their life. But really, that's a bit old school. In this day and age, its not enough to say your a house wife and a mother.

So when I was at school I was not really thinking the long term career that people eventually settle in to. I was thinking of the here and now. I wanted to be a musician. I wanted to go to the conservatory of music and study music. That was about the only thing that I was passionate about. As you can probably guess, that is not what happened. I was talked around to going to university which I did. I failed at that. You could say that my heart not was in it. It took me 14 years to get my degree because I didn't really know why I was there. I didn't really like computers. Sure I could understand them but remember that I thought everyone could understand them given the right motivation. Certainly there wasn't a great deal of motivation whilst I was at uni by anyone.

So even after I had flunked out of uni I was still trying to pursue my musical career though this time with a different angle. I would study to be a sound engineer. This at least was a more certain way to earn a living. I enrolled into a college and begin what I thought would be my new career. I met many people with the same goal, trying to make it in the music industry. Yet I also manage to fail at that too. Running out of money isn't the same as flunking out of uni but perhaps you might say that something was missing.

Can you see a pattern here?

I've heard it said that a man is defined by his actions. But how do you define a man who's actions are defined by others? It seems to me that in that sense, society defines the man and man merely goes along with what society expects of him. Those that don't live on the fringe and are shunned. Life is hard for them.

Perhaps you think this is a bit of a cop out. We have free will, I have free will, we should be able to say we are defined by our actions and we are merely being sensible by allowing societies morals to direct us. If we didn't want to live within societ then we would be living in isolation away from all the things that society grants us. Yet, if we disagree with society or perhaps it's implied morals what power do we have to fix things? How do we change the way society thinks about life and the direciton it's leading us in?

Perhaps you could write a book?

I think that's a great answer. We could write a book about all the things that are wrong with society and perhaps people will read it and change their thinking? I don't think the world works like that.

I will elaborate here. Obviously, there's isn't some gigantic committe called social morals or "What you should really do with your life" that creates guildelines for everyone to follow. So how do we feel these directions that are imposed on us by society? How did I feel compelled to do things that I didn't want to do?

That is a hard question to answer but one I think worth looking in to.

When I think about how I am influenced by those around me I find my thinking often goes like this:

1) Imagine what that person will say about your behaviour
2) Change your behaviour to reduce any negative comments your percieve will come your way.

See the issue here? I am modifying my behaviour on what I imagine those around me (or indeed society at large) will say or how they will react to me.

Sure, not everyone will think like this, but perhaps those that wish to fit in and not rock the boat will find themselves thinking along these lines. It's almost a nice little algorithm, refine your behaviour to that wish pleases most people. It could be seen as the opposite of self-serving. If you wanted to imagine society as a sea on which we sink or swim, then this thinking could be seen as simply floating around, trying not to create any waves as we sit calmly in the boat.

Not very exciting and a not very good way of changing society, then again how does one move an ocean?

Yet this is how people think, I'm almost sure of it. At least some people, with certain personality types. Like me.

Is this a bad thing. Does it help you write a book? Would the resulting book be no better than a bunch of platitudes with nothing to challenge anyone. I think we need to dig deeper.

3

When I was growing up, I lived in a house hold with four females and then me and my dad. That's a lot of potential conflict. During times of agitation, my father would play the role of peace keeper. He demonstrated that one solution to conflict was to diffuse the situation. At least that is what I got from it at the time. I don't seem to remember if the conflict was every actually resolved, just that the immediate action taken was to diffuse things and to keep the peace.

My thinking has been based around that though I do now try to resolve the conflict as well as diffuse the tempers. What does that say about me? Again we come back to the opposite of self-serving. A result of this role model was my stance as a pacifist. I don't believe in violence of any sort and abhor people who do. I can't understand people who advocate violence as a means to anything. It only servces to prove who is the most brutal.

I can perhaps draw you to a conclusion we can make here. Those that have role models who solve their conflict with violence will likely have that on their list of coping mechanisms. I'm not about to say that will be their only method but as you can imagine, I don't have it there at all.

So you can perhaps begin to see that , keeping the peace started with my father and my sisters and now I extend it to all my human relationships.

When I got married I was so worried about offending my in-laws that I am sure I came off as rather timid at first. Even to this day I am very respectful of them and wouldn't wish to do anything to offend them despite having been married for a good few years.

Keep the largest number of people happy. It's a good rule but it comes with some limitations.

Yes, before I go on, I'm not a one dimensional creature, nor are you but for now lets just pretend.

So what are the limitations to this keeping the peace mentality?

I guess the biggest one is an inability to leap into the unknown? Nah, that's not right. It's more that you are restrained by the percieved potential offence of those around you. This ends up dictating your behaviour in many situations. There's no pushing the boundries here but instead trying hard not to offend those around you. It makes it hard to be bold and yet sometimes being bold is required.

Canon 85mm f/1.8

I have recently purchased (but yet to recieve) a lens on eBay which I hope will help me take great photos of my kids.

It's an 85mm focal length prime lense with a maximum f-stop of 1.8 which will give fantastically soft backgrounds and allow for very low light shooting.

You can find a review here:

http://www.the-digital-picture.com/reviews/canon-ef-85mm-f-1.8-usm-lens-review.aspx

I really like the extremely narrow depth of field this lens produces. You can see in the picture below that whilst the eyes are perfectly focussed the ears are already showing fuzziness. It works well to draw your attention straight into the eyes. Even the picture above, one eyelash is very sharp whilst the other is fuzzy.

My Bossy Son

I had an interesting experience last week whilst picking up my son (3yo) from daycare. I had collected him and was looking around for his drink bottle. After spotting it, I told him to pick it up. Just at that moment another boy was approaching the same place and my son said to him, "Michael, pick up my drink for me" (his exact words).

Needless to say I was a little astounded at my sons attitude to others, more so that the boy complied without a word which made me think my son had done this before and not been noticed.

I questioned him about it but he wasn't too willing to talk about it. I just don't know if he was imitating us when we ask him to pick up things at home (yes, sometimes our things not his) or if he was just enjoying being bossy. Whilst my son has been bossy at home I had never imagined him behaving this way at day care.

What do you do? We explained that this was not the way to treat his friends at kindy (as we call it) and even if Michael complied without complaint, it wasn't ok to treat him like a servant and that he (our son) should be picking up his own drink not getting others to do his bidding.

I know in a family we ask each other to do things all the time but in a social setting it can be different. It isn't wrong to ask someone to do something for you but I think the thing that irked me was that both my son and Michael were standing right in front of the drink and my son choose to be lazy and get someone else to pick up the drink for him.

Perhaps this isn't really a problem but I don't want my son to be that kind of person.

What do you think?

The Meter Man Came

Well the meter man finally came. I got to learn what was in that mysterious cupboard outside our unit. I also found out that our hot water meter doesn't work. Who knows how long we've been getting free hot water but there's no way for them to work it out so they can't back bill us.

Unfortunately, for the gas it wasn't so easy. The meter worked, it just didn't report back to the utility properly and it was way out. So, no doubt, my next gas bill will be horrendous and they'll be pricks about it. The good side is the hot water will remain free until the man comes back to fix the meter which considering we've been in the place almost 3 years and this is the first time someone has come to check the meters are working...

Perhaps we can argue someone else was living in the until up until now?

Anatomy of a Paypal Scam

Over the course of the last few days I have been the target of a PayPal scam. This was one involving a car I have for sale online. The gist of the scam is detailed here.

The first part that threw me was the perpetrator was claiming to be on a oil rig, having no phone access but working Internet access.

"thanks for mailing back,i am a petroleum engineer and i am on rig right now.i am buying this as a birthday gift for my dad,i've been trying to reach you but i discovered that our  phone is currently scrambled due to the bad weather please bear with me .I can only pay through paypal at the moment as i dont have access to my bank account online,but i have it attached to my paypal account and this is why i insisted on using paypal,i will like you to send me your paypal email so i can deposited the money."

I gather this was a ploy so that I could only contact him via the Internet and not speak to him in person. The mobile number he gave just rang out with no voice mail.

The next step was that the car had to go to Darwin which is a long way from where I am and that he couldn't pay for the pickup agent from his location.

He offered extra money above the price of the car to cover this if I could just wire the extra money to his pickup agent in the UK (never mind the issue of using a pickup agent in the UK to move a car in Australia).

The clincher came the next morning when a fake PayPal email came saying money had been transferred into my account (it hadn't) but to release the total value I had to prove that I had sent the money to the pickup agent.

The email looked fake. Checking the headers (View Original in gmail) gives:

Received: by 10.216.15.8 with SMTP id e8mr41876wee.59.1282688603259; Tue, 24
 Aug 2010 15:23:23 -0700 (PDT)
Sender: mark.markspencer.spencer8@gmail.com
Received: by 10.216.170.140 with HTTP; Tue, 24 Aug 2010 15:23:23 -0700 (PDT)
Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2010 00:23:23 +0200
X-Google-Sender-Auth: ovZN1dj6pw_bFlMm7Z5wEsKi3LQ
Message-ID: 
Subject: ****Regarding Your Payment****
From: "service@paypal.com" 

If you have dealt with Paypal before you know that notifications for instant payments
come from the person doing the payment, not from PayPal. I did a search for Mark Spencer  and variations on that name appear with many scams. If they were smart it would be an alias but lets not presume too much here.


During my long conversation with the scammer (yes he wanted to chat too) it was
evident that he didn't understand English that well and didn't get that he'd been sprung.

me: I should tell you I work in IT. This sounds too much like a scam to be 
anything 
but.

Jayceon: but?

I sent the original email on to the advertising agency who confirmed it was definitely a scam. I also forwarded the fake PayPal emails to PayPal so that they can investigate. I don't expect anything to come from this but it was an interesting experience nonetheless.

I have a full chat log plus all the original emails if anyone is interested.

iPhone4

Were you one of the silly people up at midnight clicking away trying to order a new iPhone4 over the 'net? I was. It was silly.

Couldn't get through between midnight and 1am so gave up. Tried again at 6:30am and still couldn't get through. Finally managed to order one at 7:30am.

I was very surprised to see the expected delivery date of 2nd of August considering they stated the phones were already on back order. I think that means the paltry initial allocation from Apple had run out but we all know that was deliberate so they could say in the media that they'd sold out. No company in their right might would deliberately under cater with such a hot product. I presume Apple has plenty of iPhones tucked away and will delivery them rapidily once the hoo har settles down.

That's my hope at least.

I'll update you all as to how far past the 2nd of Aug it is when my phone actually arrives.

I'm also still waiting on my 2in1 microSIM which they promised by the 29th of July!

Oh well.

Is Sexy a Bad word/

My son came home the other day with a new phrase, 'Sexy man'. I can only assume he's heard one of his teachers at kindy talking about someone and decided to repeat it. That or perhaps from a song? I couldn't get it out of him (who can at 3?) but I guess it doesn't matter.

Now, I never wanted to be parent to use the phrase "you're too young" though by any stretch he is to be using that phrase. I would much prefer to give him a real reason as to why daddy thinks he shouldn't use that word. I feel I get a much better response from him when I give him a solid reason he can understand rather than a brush off.

The "you're too young" just seems like a cop  out or makes me feel like a lazy parent.

I guess my issue is trying to articulate to a 3yo what is bad about the term sexy, at least coming from a 3yo but I just couldn't do it on the spot.

I just feel my argument of 'just because' doesn't hold enough weight and as a parent I need to give solid reasons for 'no' if I want them to have any affect.

Do you have any ideas? Comment below on what you think.

Thanks.
A new Dad

Passed CCNP ROUTE

Yay, another exam another day.

See my post here.

Such an adrenaline rush it was, I was really pumped this morning, what with the cold and the caffine and then the adrenaline rush of sitting the exam. I guess all of that is good for blood flow to the brain, just have to deal with the come down on the other side. At least I have something took look forward to when I get home! 

My Phones gone bung

Yep, my beloved iPhone has lost it's most useful function, the home key. Whilst everything else works the face that a) only one thing runs at a time, b) the method of switching between them is borked, means that the functionaility of my phone is vastly reduced!

The only way I can switch between apps is to reboot. I did manage to find an install link via a website which took me through the app install. But that only gets me from the browser back.

Guess who'll be getting an iPhone4 quicksmart!

Don't get technical

My three year old found a DVD of Up in the computer today. Instantly he wanted to watch it on the TV, that's ok, it's watchable. The thing is, the DVD was from the Blu-Ray version which included a copy on DVD. I found myself trying to convince him that we should use the other disc (i.e. the Blu-Ray version) but was having trouble translating my purely technical argument into 3-year-old style logic.

Turns out it doesn't translate well and in the end I relented.

It made me think about his descision making process. He wanted to play the DVD because it had a different picture on it than the 'other' disc. Even once it was in the machine, he was excited because the menu was different, thus new.

Whilst it may be said that 3 year olds are easily influenced they can also be finicky.

This whole story would be a lesson in how not to negotiate with your three year old, or when to know you're fighting a lost cause, if it were not for the fact that the DVD stopped working part way through and we had to revert to the 'other' disc.

It wasn't me, I swear!

ANZAC Perspective

For all the effort that goes into commemorating ANZAC day, I feel a little disconnected from it all. I guess ANZAC is supposed to be something that _most_ people have some history with. Yes, I do too but it goes so far back that it's hard for me to relate to.

I certainly haven't had any experience of way, but neither did my dad nor his dad. I have to go back four generations to find anyone in my family that went to war. This distant relative only went reluctantly and only for a short period, not really the war hero.

Does that mean we should march? I just don't feel it. I would feel like a fraud even though my dad has his service medals. I guess if my dad had fought then I would feel more connected to it but both him and his father were primary producers during the relavent wars and thus excempt from any conscription.

Am I the only one that feels this way? Perhaps it is a good thing. I'm sure as more and more generations roll forth, more and more people will have little connection with the 'great' wars of yesteryear. Heaven forbid we have any more but certainly...

lest we forget

Get away from her you Bitch...

I want one:


This looks way cool but I'm sure it will be ages before average joe's can get into one.

Hot Stuff

Many years ago we had an admin girl who's strong point was not details. She accidentally ordered 10kg of drinking chocolate instead of a much smaller quantity. Needless to say, many years later, our small office of 5 people are still working their way through this 10kg.

Recently, I've been a bit crook and have discovered a nice combination to make use of this choccy. I take one teaspoon of instant coffe (eww I know), one teaspoon of drinking chocolate, add sugar and milk and you have caffine and energy boost all in one.

Yes I know it's a mocha but to me it's not real coffee but it's still drink able.

So very Tired

Children who routinely get up at 6:30am can make you very tired. Did you know?

Hey, if you didn't know that you should check out my lazy parents website. Full of hopefully useful tips.

Though now that I think about it, there's nothing in there about kids that wake up frightfully early. I'll have to add that in.

ITs scary out there

Yes, I finally did IT... well ok, perhaps I'm not being transparent but I applied for a job last night. Way out of my leage of course but still enthralling to do so. It's a people manager role which is where I'm a bit soft but it's strong on technical skills so that part I should be ok. Just need to brush up on my Cisco voice stuff.

Wish me luck, applications close 5th of Feb so I imagine I won't know anything until after then.

Nicks Swimming

Nick is learning to swim! He has just started swimming lessons just days before his 3rd birthday.

Kays and Kays

If you have been reading you will no doubt recall that I was going to go for a drive on Friday to get my lease kilometres back into shape.

Well it was a successful day by all accounts. The drive down was nice, the Macquarie valley was extremely verdant and a interesting road to drive on. It is a tight twisty narrow road yet has semi-trailers travelling on it. The bends are so tight that you have to stop before each turn if there is a truck coming the other way. I almost got taken out by one.

The corners get worse when you get the the single lane section. Even normal cars have to cross over to the other side to get around the inside of the hairpins! It amazes me that semi trailers are allowed to use this road but I guess it is a great link between the Hume highway and Wollongong.

Once we were up in the highlands the mist and fog rolled in. I only wish I had fog lights on the car so I could legitemately use them! The pies at the famous Robertson Pie shop were ok I guess. The chicken curry could have had more bite to it. Oh well, I guess when you cater for the masses you don't want to offend anyone. Bit like Oporto's warning you about the chillie in their chillie burger or McDonalds warning you that coffee is hot.

Anyway, the trip was good. On the return leg I travelled up the M7 and on approaching the M4 realized that it was only 2:30pm and I still had time to kill. I could either go home and laze on the couch for a couple of hours or I could keep on driving. Considering the whole point of the day was to rack up kays, I chose the latter option.


View Larger Map
So on I went, down the M4, up to Glenbrook in the Blue Moutains, the turning off at Springwood to take the long route back via Hawksbury Heights and Richmond to Windsor. This is the way that my family always used to take from the Northern Beaches to the Blue Mountains before the M2 existed. It's a lovely scenic drive but took 2hrs rather than the 1hr 15mins that the freeway takes.

All up a very good day with a total of 425kms added. So now I'm not very far behind at all and saw some lovely country side in the process.

Crazy Card Canasta

Ok, that was a little forced alliteration.

I am in the process of trying to get rid of my credit cards in favour of Visa Debit cards instead. Doing this has highlighted how many different places you hand out this information to and how much fun it is to change it.

So far I have, eToll, iTunes, eBay and the phone company to start with. Each with a different process I'm sure. Then there are more things like my domain company and the online shopping website.

When you think about it, all these sites all have your credit card details (though I'm not sure about the shopping website). I used to only deal with sites that didn't store your card details but these days that is much more difficult. It would be nice if sites had to give you the option of not storing your card but alas there is no such law in place.

Oh well, for now we just have to trust them. I guess an encrypted website is better than nothing but it's still easy for users to get complacent and ignore warnings about a websites security (e.g. their invalid certificate) because our security software trains us to just blindly click on stuff.

So my TODO for tomorrow is to try and change my credit card details with all these people and do it without loosing my temper or signing up for any new value adds.

Wish me luck.

Making Plans

In an effort to blog more often as per my new years resolution, here is todays entry.

As you may know I was looking at Macquarie Pass as somewhere to drive to. Well I have made the arrangements and am taking next Friday (15th) off to do the drive. Google maps says it will take roughly 2hrs each way but the pass is pretty steep narrow and popular so who knows if I will get stuck behind someone going real slow or not.

In other news I've finally mailed off my application for trade access to TLE. This is part of my dream to freelance as someone who does network wiring for peoples houses. I've done three so far. Just need to get people to pay me for doing it (i.e. more than just parts). The TLE part of the dream is for access to discounts when buying parts.

It's all part of ze plan!

A Difficult Choice

I have made a new years resolution to blog more...

I am coming up on ten years in my current job. Logic says its time for a change but after ten years, change is a difficult thing to contemplate. I have the problem of having reasonable job satisfaction coupled with the nagging sensation that I could do better. Add to that the fact that I can't easily define my current position and it makes the thought of changing jobs daunting.

I have considered network engineer, generic manager, project manager and can't think of what else.

Any ideas? I had been waiting for my boss to move up the food chain but I fear he's in the same boat as me, likes what he does, reluctant to move and just in a cushy place.

I have recently acquired my CCNA Security specialization but I just can't see work rating that worth of a pay increase considering I'm not a network engineer.

Oh the pain of it all.

The joys of a lease

So I have a leased car. Yes, I'm behind on my kays and looking for somewhere to go to chew up the miles.

The other weekend we were in Mittagong doing the very same things. After getting back I was checking the maps (as I do) a noticed a lovely squiggly line not far from there.

Turns out this squiggly line is a popular road for people on bikes and I've found several videos on YouTube showing how great a road it is.

So my next mission, take the freeway down to Wollongong and then up the road to Macquarie Pass and on to Robertson for a famous pie!

Sounds like a plan?


View Larger Map

On a Whim

On a random suggestion whilst having guests over the other night for a low key new years I have registered the domain lazyparents.net with a tagline of "For Parents who couldn't be arsed".

My theory is there are lots of things parents find difficult to discuss with their kids that they know they should. This is much more than just education about sex. Things like where is heaven and why does Granny smell funny.

So, I play to find or create some content and see where it leads me.

Any suggestions?

Creative Ikea

Is is really bad when you starting getting creative decorating ideas based on Ikea furniture?

Is it a sign that you've done one too many visits to that great warehouse under the sun?

I think perhaps I should keep a secret my designer Ikea. Perhaps they might be interested?

A Foot Long

 
How long as it been? Not long but she's as pretty as ever and now is starting to roll over. She has the whole world ahead of her (what a cliche) and I'll be here watching.

New Addtion to the family

Here's a video of our new daughter getting ready to come home from the hospital.

Train Topology Anyone?

I have been playing with my sons Geotrax system of late. When he wants to play trains it means he sits on the bed and daddy puts the trains together so that he can break them apart.

So naturally, being the nurd that I am, was wondering if there was a mathematical way to determine the number of layouts that used every piece of a given set of pieces. I have recently managed to create a layout that uses every piece:


The question is. How many are there like this? Also, how do you determine what their basic topological properties are such as how the points relate to each other and what the symmetric must look like.

Any ideas?

There's no Honour in Killing

Ok, so there's plenty of news and blogs about the aborent practise in some places of honour killings yet most of them just repeat the same ideas, that it is incredible such things still go on and they should be stopped.

These are easy things to say and certainly put you on the right side of things but has anyone stopped to consider how something like this would play out in western society?

Picture this, teenage daughter comes home later than her curfew. Parents are upset as they expected more from her. They tell her that their family has a reputation has a good upstanding family and her actions would lead people in the community to think otherwise. They were sorry but she would have to be killed.

Can you put yourself in that position? Of course we find it difficult to image our parents ever saying something like that in the first place and if they did then we just wouldn't take them seriously.

But what if they were serious and more than that everyone we might speak to about it would take their side and agree with the sentance? What if even people in authority like the police whilst not condoning our theoritical parents actions they would not intervene.

Can you imagine that? Can you imagine a society were there is no recourse, there is no second opinion. I would imagine that you might resist and try to fight it and if you were strong willed then you might find a way out. But if you weren't then you might feel like there was no way out, that perhaps rather than be killed the only option is to kill yourself.

I have read recently that some females who have been given an honour sentence feel this way, it's almost like having suicidal thoughts yet they are no fault of your own.

How does one change society? Society has such a huge momentum behind it and exists in the behaviour of millions of people? If for generations these things have been accepted in a particular society then how is any member of that society able to break out from these rules? It seems impossible doesn't it? How am I any more able to change for instance the western social view on public nudity?

Yet perhaps the difference might be that we are taught to question the things told to us, to work things out for ourselves rather than taking at face value that which someone else tells us. This works for us but it doesn't help those who are dying for someones concept of honour.

Almost Christmas and I'm Good

Do you remember as a kid how excited you got for Christmas? All these presents and you didn't have to do anything (in theory) to get them? Yes, I remember being so excited you couldn't sleep I mean this was the highlight of the year.

Then we grow up and realize what our parents do to make it such a great day and although we appreciate it, it never has the same magic as it once did.

Then we become parents and we start to get excited about it again. We look forward to being able to give our little ones something they'll really enjoy and we look forward to seeing the enjoyment on their faces. It feels good to come full circle and enjoy it from the other side.

Yet something is gnawing at me making me feel like I'm doing something wrong. You see, due to scheduling constraints we are unable to get to Church this year having two places to be on the day. Growing up I always got annoyed when we had to stop playing with all our new toys and go to church but now that I am older I realise that its a bit shallow to celebrate Christmas without actually going to church but I guess that's normal these days.

Sure there will be thousands of people who only go to church on this day and the churches understand this and give the people what they want. I mean the service you get on Christmas day is not really a normal service, its a service for the people who feel guitly about celebrating Christmas without any thought for the true meaning.

So back to my problem. I won't be going to church on Christmas day but I have managed to get my head around this by realizing that unlike all those people who go just that one day, I have been going to church throughout the year and trying to learn and get something out of it. So I feel that I won't really be missing out and that my heart and head will be in the right place as I try to remember why we do this in the first place.

Hope you all have a happy day and think of each other as we go to our various events.

A New Life

There is nothing quite like the news of hearing that friends have just had their first child. It comes so out of the blue sometimes that its quite a surprise when it happens. As it did happen to me this morning, I found out that friends of mine had had their first child at 6am this morning and all was well. I couldn't help be feel so happy for them. It can be a time of extreme stress so it's good to know everyone has made it through ok. It makes me look forward to the birth of my second child next year. I can remember how I felt waiting for my son to be born, not knowing when things were going to happen, waiting and more waiting.

So I know where my friends are at right now, in this weird place, tired, exhausted but over the moon. It's surreal, shortly followed by an endless stream of visitors. Enjoy.

Somehow I don't think the second time around for me will be the same. I know too much going in so there won't be quite the same heightened anxiety as there was the first time. I'm sure it will still be an amazing experience, birth will always be that way but I still think there's nothing like being first time parents, completely stonkered at what has taken place.

Well, I should send some congratulations to my friends and their speedy arrival. Well done.

A bit too close to home

This is what I was confronted with when leaving for work this morning:

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/sydney-car-blast-mystery/2008/07/15/1215887577802.html

Didn't hear a thing but that 4WD has a habit of parking on the curb right at the corner and I've almost taken him out several times. Perhaps someone got pissed at him?

The Decline of Company Loyalty

I originally created this blog as a place to vent my frustrations. Then there was a period where I just wasn't frustrated. Getting married, buying a house, having a baby, whilst stressful are not frustrating.

But now, I have something to post about. Perhaps this is indicative on me than on IT in general but I have come to the conclusion that not only is it the done thing to change jobs every 2 years in IT but IT companies now also expect it. Company loyalty no longer exists. It is expected that if you don't like your job you change. Simple as that. Companies now know that they no longer have to try to retain staff as staff will leave regardless. IT workers also know this and know there is no point trying to move up the ranks as people will be moved in sideways and they will not go anywhere.

So both sides of the employment coin understand the situation and have agreed on terms yet for some reason I haven't bought into this scheme. Here I am after eight years of service still waiting to move somewhere. Each year I hope for something and each year I get told how tough the market is and how the company is struggling. Obviously this is just management talk to manage my expectations. They expect that if I'm not happy I will move on. They don't need to do anything as I am just the same as the rest of the cattle here. Even if your performance review rate you as execptional that just means you are allowed to stay.

I remember years ago when employement was supposed to be a win win situation. You put your time in doing work for your employer and they made it worth your while. Now they don't care what you do, just that you do it quietly and move on if you're not happy. Your direct manager no longer has any control over your career, nor does his manager and so on. Everyone is treated the same and promotion is only through knowing the right people and being at the right place and has nothing to do with merit or loyalty.

Yet here I am, still here still enduring. What gives?

Official Google Blog: Looking towards IPv6

Looks like IPv6 is getting the big name support it needs. Now we just need Google to IPv6 enable the rest of their services and we'll be set.


Official Google Blog: Looking towards IPv6

Riding Away

I've started riding to work and something strange has happened. Instead of my inherent
lazy streak overriding me and telling me to take the car when the weather is nasty I have found that I'm now feeling bad for taking the car. I actually find myself feeling like a wimp of some sort for not riding in the rain or for thinking a little bit of wet is an excuse not to ride.

I don't understand this myself as it's not what I would have expected of myself. I know I'm lazy and it's a constant battle to get past that. Yet here I am wanting to ride in the rain, wanting to not skip days. I think some of the motivation has to be that I've lost 4kg. Not that that sounds like a lot (it isn't) but it's more the fact that people have noticed and finally I have felt like I'm getting somewhere.

I know how hard it is to diet which is why I'm not being to careful on that side of things. Yes I'm trying to eat less but I'm not that fussy of what it is. Instead I feel like I'm changing my lifestyle for the good here. I've wanted to ride for so many years yet haven't managed to get there until recently. Now I feel liberated. I look forward to riding, and once I'm at work I feel happy that I have to ride home because now I am enjoying the whole deal.

Ok, enough ranting about riding.

Find me by the Shorefront

Well it's about time. I finally have a shady front to hide behind. Yes, I've registered a business name and gotten myself an ABN.

http://shorefront.googlepages.com

Now just to find some consulting work.

My masochistic reading

Of late I've been doing my head in with the heaviness of my reading choices. Currently I'm reading War and Peace the mother of all epitomes and decided on the weekend that I needed more punishment and thus bought The Brothers Karamazov and the Idiot both by Dostoevsky.

All this intellectual masochism started on a whim one day whilst browsing a book store at Birken Head I noticed both War and Peace and Crime and Punishment. Who couldn't resist books which such simple titles? I couldn't considering I had actually heard of these two books and usually they were considered very serious undertakings when it came to the book world.

So I bought them and waded through Crime and Punishment whilst staying at my in-laws (in between houses). Such was the weight of this book it caused me to start writing one of my own.
This mood soon left me until I started on War and Peace. That journey is still going and I can't see an end in sight yet as I'm only 750 pages in, barely half way.

So all this intellectual discovery has lead me to pile on the pages with two more Dostoevsky's which look to be good, one of which was his last book so I can hopefully (if my brain survives) compare the two.

I'll let you know how I get on.

Bye Bye SuperWall

I have just removed my SuperWall from facebook. It seems the only purpose of this application is to propagate chain mail hoaxes around as fast as possible. Ending up with multiple copies of the same stupid hoax with some (presumable) innocent persons face attached to it just irked me no end.

So now I've deleted my Superwall and am only going to use Facebook for it's original intend, keeping in touch with friends.

No longer a facebook whore

Are you one of those people that accepted every request from 'friends' on facebook? So that your profile was overflowing with apps you'd never used? So that you're profile page was full of the latest wave of crap that was sweeping through the ranks of facebookers. Yep that was me.

Until now. I have decided that the only reason for facebook is to replace the email chains that annoying people used to send through. At least that's all that I can see. Everytime I get a message saying someone has sent me something I get excited. Then I look at it and realize it's not to me. Not really, none of it is. It's just another chain thingy sweeping through facebook that you get some sort of kudos for sending to as many people as possible.

Remember, the person with the most friends wins!!

So I've decided to trim down my profile, clean out the clutter. I'm getting rid of my FulWall(tm) as it's just a place for people to place random crap that I don't want nor care to advertise. All those apps that I only added to be nice and never used, gone.

Now I will just be using facebook so that people know that I exist and know a few people. I just don't have the time for the rest of it.

Concept

In my attempt to write a book or at least a short story (fictional) I have spent some time thinking about how to go about it. To this end I have created this document in which I will try and lay out my story before I begin writing. I think it's good to have a plan as to where you are going so that you can keep to the story line.

My earlier attempts at creative writing (read high school) were written much more free form and thus didn't start with any specific ideas other than the terms of the work set by school. Now that I want to do my own thing I have to have much more of an idea of what I want to write about.

I have enjoyed reading Crime and Punishment and I certainly relate to the struggle the main character has with the deeds that he has done. Thus I am inclined to write a story about one man struggle with some kind of new knowledge. Thoughts so far are some form of mental capacity or perhaps a new scientific discover that has large ramifications.

Outline

Start with background of the primary character. Introduce him and let the reader understand him. What he looks like how he behaves.
Walking down the busy city street, Pavlo exuded excitement like a glow one gets after sex. You could tell just by looking at him that he was bursting to tell everyone and everything about something. It was his walk, his barely there smirk and the way he wasn't distracted by any of the sights passing as he walked. Here was a man on a mission.

Next start with his state of mind. Perhaps he has already made this discovery and his first reaction is just to tell people. This does not go well.

Learning from his first reaction he finds that people just aren't interested. He is having a hard time making people understand the significance of what he has discovered. He is depressed about this.

He tries in vain to ignore his discovery feeling letting doubt reign thinking that perhaps its a symptom of his own mental illness.

He seeks treatment for his 'illness' even though in his heart he doesn't believe it. But then mental illnesses can feel like that he reasons.

He is placed on medication by his physician and seems happy for now with this outcome. In a sense it is a resolution. Not the resolution that he desired but certainly one that fits with todays ideas.

Years pass and by accident he finds someone else who has created a website about his discovery. He is completely thrown off guard with this news.

He attempts to get in contact with the person that has created this website to try and confirm the story but the person is illusive.

Eventually he tracks this person down and discovers that whilst the concept is the same as his the person does not believe in it but placed it on the Internet as a thought experiement.

Our man is devastated by this news and spends much time in a haze unsure of what to do next.

Finally he decides the only resolution he can possible have is some form of proof that either he is mentally ill, or his discovery is real and he is ok.

Somehow an experiment is conducted which he plans to demonstrate his discovery to people who can judge it properly.

He presents the experiment and despite mixed responses to his discovery comes to the conclusion that not all strange weird and new discoveries such as his are the result of mental illness and perhaps leaps of discovery such as this is now mankind advances.

Notes

I believe the premise of this story is to take the reader through the same states that the protagonist goes through. The excitement at his discovery followed by disbelief when the discovery is revealed.

Alternatively, I had toyed the the idea of seeing now far I could get through the story without revealing what the discovery was at all. After all the meat of the story is how he deals all the things that are thrown at him. Yet the reader will be curious as to what it is and want to judge for themselves that this discovery is warranted.

I am thinking of stories like the movie K-Pax where the 'discovery' so to speak is that Prost is an alien yet are left guessing the whole time about the truth of this. So perhaps here I need him to have a discover that is suitably out there.

Perhaps some form of mental capacity that is currently unbelievable. Psykokensis is too well covered. Telepathy also. Perhaps coersion. The mental equivalent of bullying. Making others do what you want. Bending free will to your will. Yes that will do it.

To make it interesting though we won't reveal this until his diagnosis as ill. This could be the end of part 1.

I passed

Now I can get on with the real business of studying for my CCNP. I have this ingrained need to prove myself. I don't know why, perhaps because I was such a dissapointment during school. I could have done many things, I was just so very lazy. Now I'm making up for lost time. Whilst I still can.

Back Studying

For those that are interested, I am resitting my CCNA exam on Tuesday. The old one lapsed in 2005 and boy have they changed the exam since I did it in 2002. But I am feeling confidant about it and hopefully will pass with more flying colours than I did last time!

It Crawls!

Yes the creature that is my son, thought you would all like to know. Pictures to follow soon and perhaps even a video for those that want it!

Moving In

Just a quick note to say that we are all moved in now. We've been here three days and have managed to discover all there is to discovery about our place including our rubbish shute! We still have loads of boxes all over the place and we are getting to grips with the lack of an official pantry but hey, we have heaps of room so there's nothing to complain about.

Once we get the place sorted out we will have you all over for a BBQ.

Nightmare on Mortgage street

When you say to people that you are buying a new house everyone is very happy for you and none the wiser about what is really involved.

Perhaps you have never bought a property before but I tell you now, it's a rollercoaster of a process and that's after you've signed the contract and you know it's yours!

With our current purchase we decided to keep our existing loan (called a substitution) and just let the bank extend it to buy the new place. Sounds simple? Ha, you would know it but for some reason noone seems to know how this process works least of all the lawyers working for the bank nor my broker who set this all up!!!

We got to 4pm on the day before settlement was due to occur only to find out that the bank couldn't access the money available in the existing loan. This meant of course that we had to somehow get this money to them. With the threat of a delayed settlement on the cards many frantic phone calls were made trying to sort out this mess.

The end of it involves myself hand delivering a cheque from the bank to the banks lawyers! What a crock. Luck I had taken the week off else it would have been a difficult situation.

The thing that really gets to me about this whole process is that for a settlement that was longer than usual it took to one day before settlement to discover this problem and only by accident. None of the parties that supposedly should have done this before told me that I would have to participate in the settlement. I cannot believe that they didn't know about this.

Lesson to be learned in the future, don't trust the people who's job it is to know these things. Pretend they are all idiots and double check everything. They are all making money out of this transaction they should be on the ball yet they are not.

I feel like a project manager, manging my own property settlement, perhaps theres an industry in that?

An Experiment

I plan to attempt a new project. I want to write a book. I will keep you posted. Just an experiment to see if I can.,

Crime and Punishment

Yes you guess it, I'm reading the revered Crime and Punishment (next up is War and Peace). You may of course ask why on earth I would want to read such heavy books. Trust me I have been wondering that myself but I guess it goes like this:

I have always wondered if ordinary people would given the right stimulus be able to comprehend things such as these books. Alternatively are they only for the intellectual elite amongst us? Certainly I don't consider myself one of those but I am curios to know if I can understand what it is about these books that makes them among the greatest books ever written (so I am led to believe).

So therefore when I recently spotted these two books at a bookstore I thought to myself, why not? I mean surely there is something in there for everyone? So that is my experiment. I am going to read these two giants and see if I can understand what it is that makes them giants.

Of course all of this could just be proof of what a geek I have become. For some reason I now seek out challenges such as these. I mean I have the most eclectic taste in movies (just ask my wife) and music that anyone would wonder what I am trying to prove? To be honest? I don't know. Perhaps I am just trying to prove that I am smart and thus worthy of feeling good about myself.

I'll let you be the judge.

Bought at Auction

Wow, I have justed been through my first auction. What a process it was. Nerve wracking to boot. But in the end we won the property we were after for quite a bit less than reserve which is good news.

It's funny how we managed to build up a perception of something with limited knowledge about it. The auction process was nothing like I had imagined. Well ok it was something like it but the auctioneer was much more jovial that I had imagined and yet at the same time there were far fewer people bidding that I had expected. The room was packed with over 40 people but there was no way of knowing which of the 5 properties the people were interested in.

As it turned out very few of the people present actually bidded on properties and for ours only one other person and he wasn't prepared to go as high as we were.

Woo such a load of to have this all over and done.

Intimidating

Today I was called something I never thought I would and it made me think. We always worry at least to some extent what people think of us. We can't help it. You can't live in a society and not wonder what people think of you because we spend so much time thinking things of other people. Usually with little fact in the mix too.

So today when I was called intimidating I was quite bemused. I had never seen myself that way and certainly hadn't thought that my geekdom would be to blame. Yet somehow it made sense to some extent.

Of course normally these things don't get found out because people are too polite to say anything to your face. I might never have found out that that's what these people think of me.

Does it really make a difference though? I don't know. I don't like the tag but what am I going to do? Pretend to be dumb so people aren't intimidated? I don't think so. I'm proud of who I am and I don't think modifying my behavior to suit a handful of people is the solution. I don't really know how I can avoid being intimidating if this is the effect I have on people. How else does one behave when the reason they feel this way is because you know too much yet at the same time you are trying to teach them things and help them get a leg up?

You tell me because I don't know.

New Lens Today

Yep, photography wannabe. Thats me. But today I received my 50mm lens which I have wanted for ages. Now that I have a bub I have a willing subject to photograph and I want to be able to capture him in all his modes.

Thus I now have this simple light cheap and fast lens to do that with. With an F stop of 1.8 it is very fast and I should be able to take non-flash shots in many more situations. Cant wait to get it home and have a play!

Where are all my friends?

Where have all the good friends gone?

I think that sounds like a song to me. I've been playing around with all these social networking sites of late but all they seem to show me is that I don't have any friends. Or at least not the kind that use such services.

Somehow I can only come away from all this with the feeling that I have no friends? Is this how our children will measure their self esteem by how many friends they have on facebook?

His first holiday

Well little Nick has had his first holiday away from home. We spent a couple of nights up in the Blue Mountains and he slept overnight in his porta-cot. New experience for us parents having him in the same room. Bubs are noisy sleepers!
Here we have him in his backpack about to go down the Furber steps in Katoomba. Shortly after this shot he fell fast asleep and missed most of the descent!
It was a fun day for all though mums legs are much sorer afterwoods! Here he is a little over 5 months old now and going great on solids. Perhaps next year up the mountains he might be walking some of the way!!

Book of Faces

I have recently been introduced to FaceBook and I'm hooked. Thing is, I don't have any friends...or at least (said a better way) I don't seem to have many friends on facebook. But I guess that's 'cos it's not really that big here in Australia yet. Getting there I guess.

Neat idea of how every relationship you have (eg you say you know person a) requires verification from that person. So you don't get random people trying to attach to your profile!

I like it.

So ok, everyone reading this, sign up...and be my friend! Then I can look popular, something I've always wanted to do!

Check out my profile:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=601346387

Why wouldnt you have one?

I mean honestly? Why would anyone not want to have one of these to enjoy? I've no idea what kind of parent I am going to make, how can anyone? But I do know that right now, when he's just shy of 4 months old, he brings so much joy to our little family.

Yes he can be a lot of work but you do that willingly. Because he's part of you. Because he gives you a reason to exist. Something to justify all the other crap that you go through. He's your chance to engender all those ideals that you've spent the last decade creating. He's so many things it's hard to get across just what it is that make him so special.

Then again, this is not something I could imagine or theorize about before the event. All those couples out there making the choice not to have kids are working on minimal information. But then noone is ever going to suggest you have kids just to try it out. You can't hand them back if you find that it's not your cup of tea.

Kids, I think are something you just have to take on faith.

Faith, remember is something you do when there is insufficient evidence to make an educated descision. I think that's what kids are about, you decide that you want them without any evidence either for or against. You won't really know if it's the right thing until you are there, you just have a feeling that it will be right.

And that's all you have to go on.

For me, it was enough. I love my son and I'm so glad he's here to enrich my world.

Where to now?

We have decided that we are soon to outgrow our little unit that we've called home for the past 3 years. But the problem is of course, where to now? We've been looking around and for Sydney, its a bleak outlook. Either move far away out west, away from family and work else buy something that is not fit for habitation.

Surely there must be a way somewhere inbetween? I'm hoping so. We all need somewhere to live but you would hope there are more options than that for someone with modest means.

We are meeting with the mortgage broker tonight to see what they can do for us. Here's hoping its something!

Stepping Down

I have just spent the last month being the boss here at work. I quite enjoyed the responsibility and the sense of achievement on getting things done. Now that by boss is back from leave I have to step down and play the role of techie again.

Now I feel like I have nothing to do. There wasn't even a formal handover, update or anything of the like. He's just in command now, no questions asked. I have no authority over anything as of this morning.

It's a bit disappointing. I felt like I was doing a good job but I don't feel like I will be thanked for it or shown any recognition.

Are these the signs that tell me its time to move on? Am I taken for granted here? Who knows. I'm too comfortable. I know that much. Living close to work makes it too easy. Makes me complacent. Yet who wouldn't want the cushy life at work? As long a they look after me why would anyone want anymore?

I don't know. Do you?

My family

This is the reason for getting a new camera! What a difference it makes. We've just recently decided that the quality of the pictures coming out of our video camera just don't cut the mustard. Thus we've gotten ourselves a nice new digital SLR and look at the results!

I think capturing the rapid changes in my little son was a very good reason for our purchase. Its something you really wouldn't want to miss. The quality is such a step up from the video camera that the effect is amazing.

I'm looking forward to taking thousands of my sons development. I might not have another son so I better catching it now.

Skulker

I'm always the sort of person that is into things years after they are cool hip trendy or just plain in. Take Skulker for instance, I heard them around 2003 when they were at the height of their popularity. I subsequently when out and bought their latest CD, then their first CD. I really love their music and wanted to know what was happening with them.

Of course since I got into it all so late by the time I was interested it was all over. Skulker is now history. Gone and forgotten. Their website no longer exists and noone has heard from them since 2004. It saddens me to think that music that certainly spoke to me so well and presumably many others dies so silently as it has.

But then stardom is fleeting and perhaps after 10 years at it the girls just wern't into it anymore. Who knows? I certainly don't. Never saw them live, never bought any of their singles. Just plain got into it all too late to be useful.

At least I still have their music to remind me of what it must have been like. Thank you Skulker for at least rocking for a while and managing to plonk down a couple of solid albums.

Worse than a Pet, More than a Toy

Sometimes its hard to come to grips with how to deal with a new little addition to the household. I'm talking about a newborn baby. I've now had one as part of my home for a couple of weeks now and I'm still getting used to how I should think about this newcomer.

Ok, when you have a pet , say a cat, in your house, you know certain things about this pet. You know when they are hungry and thus you feed them or shoo them away if you fed them 5 minutes ago. When they are not hungry, they are generally taking care of themselves. They don't need to wear nappies which need changing but on the other hand they cannot communicate any more than a baby can. All you get are general emotional states like hungry, sleepy, or content.

Alternatively, if you have a toy, you play with it, you touch it, perhaps dress it up and you enjoy how it looks. You don't have any obligations beyond that, it is there purely for your pleasure.

So, from these two opposites, you have a newborn baby. Something that can only give you a vague idea about how it's feeling, sleepy hungry or just generally upset. On the odd occasion you might get content.

Yet this little person also requires continuing maintenance. Nappies need changing, stomachs need filling with warm milk and yes, on the odd occasion he needs entertaining.

All of these things take some adjustment. Learning to deal with a baby who cannot communicate what is wrong is hard. Learning to deal with someone elses waste is well, icky. Learning to love this little thing, is easy, yet learning all these things at once can be hard.

So far, I'm loving it. Yet being the male I get the easy job. The hard part is dealing with all of these issues when you've had little sleep, its 3am and the baby is crying for reasons you cannot fathom. That's where I take my hat off to my wife who despite not having foresight about all this is dealing with all of it as best she can. All I can do is support her any way I can.

To all those contemplating parenthood I say this, know as best you can how you deal with the unknown under adverse circumstances. Then you will know how you will deal with parenthood.

Either way, its all worth it.

What a big world

From Nicholas

Its such a big world that this little bundle of ours has entered. Everything must seem strange to him. I can fully understand him loosing it every now and then. We just need to be ready to comfort him when it call gets a bit much.

So far we are doing ok at that. Sometimes he sleeps for hours without a peep, other times he's not a happy camper even after a nice big feed. He's still learning and so are we.

And I'll try and keep you all posted on our progress. Heading into our second night at home with the little man and we're optimistic!

Don't forget the photos: http://picasaweb.google.com/rruckley/Nicholas

Its a Boy!

From Nicholas

Yes its a boy and these are the proud parents. Nicholas was born 7:46pm on the 24th of January, 2007 weighing 3.76 kg or 8lbs 4 ounces to those who need it.

Both mum and bub are doing well and we are all very pleased with our new little addition.

Look forward to seeing you all and posting some more pics when I get a chance.

39 weeks and counting...

Yep it could be any day, parenthood. I don't know quiet what we are in for but it's going to be soon...

Fingers crossed.

Almost there

Yes, we are now officially only three weeks away from parenthood. Of course nothing ever comes on time, especially not babies but we can still hope.

So far we believe we are as ready as we can be. Everything is in place and all the books are read. Now it just comes down to waiting. And more waiting until we know something is happening.

We have our names picked out and we even have the bags packed for hospital. Now we just waiting for anything that will let us know things are getting close.

Hope you are all keeping some appendages crossed for us.

Woo ADSL2

I've joined the ranks of Uber geeks today as my ADSL2+ finally started working.
Shame on optus for only allowing their ServiceNET to work with IE. I couldn't agree to the terms and conditions via firefox under linux I had to get the lappy out to agree.

But once I did that it works. My modem now says I'm connected at 11Mbs!!!

Woo to fast Internet.

Thats all, just a quick gloat!

Virtual Nursery

Well I've gone and out geeked myself by uploading a video of our nursery. I don't do any corny commentary on it, just a quick 360 around the room so you can get an idea of it.

Here is the video:

Almost There...

For those of you who have been keeping a vague eye on my slow painful progress through uni will be almost thrilled to know that I have my last undergraduate (yes yes I know) exam tomorrow.

This will mark the end of 14 years of suffering (minus 6 years in the middle where I wasn't actually at uni) for something that takes most of us only 3 years.

So I'm slow and lazy, but you all knew this anyways. I mean how long does it take me to organise a simple BBQ ?

So, with the well wishes of you all behind me (or something) I will embark tomorrow on the last wrist straining nerve wracking exam I will have to do for a long time ( until I start my CCNP that is).

I'm looking forward to not having to look forward to the next assignment test or exam. Yay and three rounds for my sanity.

Of course, for some parts I have actually enjoyed the learning process and for a while there entertained the idea of doing a Masters, but I fear that other new developments may take over my life and the idea of study may seem like a distant memory to me.

BTW, for those of you interested, I don't find out if I have actually qualified for my degree till after 19th of Dec so here's hoping I managed to forget all about it before then.

Talk to you all soon.

New Blog

Greetings,

I have decided to fork off my geek stuff from my other insightful views on the world. Now my geek stuff (which would normally bore the hind leg off a turkey) is on a seperate geek for those who follow such interesting things to read.

http://nurdland.blogspot.com

Enjoy.

Nursery Complete

Yep, we've done it. We now have a complete nursery and 3 months ahead of schedule!! We picked up the cot and change table yesterday afternoon and assembled them last night. They look lovely. I might just go and take a picture for you all so you can see how it looks. Well I have just run into the bub room and taken a picture of the furniture that we've now got. In the picture to the left you can see the cot in the corner and the change table next to it.
For those that are keen next to the change table is the poo containment device and then the pram at the far right.

Then for the picture at the right you can see our tallish boy with the toybox sitting next to it. Bonus points for those that can spot the cool little green lamp that was only $8 at bunnings!

So that's out little bubs room for those that wanted to know. Yes there a more interesting things to talk about, but this is our life at the moment so that's all we have to share for now. We'll keep you posted on things that are happening!

Later.

Bub Stuff

For those of you that don't know, we are expecting. Whilst that in of itself is exciting, it is a long wait which can stretch on a bit. 9 months is a long time!

But lo, what being pregnant is really about is buying lots of new things. That's the exciting bit to tide you over until your life is turned upside down by that noisy bundle of joy!

So, today we recieved word that the rest of our bub furniture has arrived! We're so excited! Something new to play with. Something to pickup, lug up the stairs and assemble. Then we get to admire it from all angles and then dress it up with stuff.

Though sadly, it is almost the last thing we've had to buy for this bub (so far that is) . No more big purchases until they get a car!

Well ok, I'm sure there will be some small things in between but hey, they're not as exciting as big things that require assembly.

Anyways, I know I've been quite of late, bugger wise and all and I hope you all miss me!

I will post more often as baby stuff comes along 'cos that's really where the exciting stuff is.

Talk to you all soon.

1. This is a test document. I wanted to see if this interface is any better than the one they had before.
2. It's not that it wasn't functional over at writely but it was slow and that's not what I expected from google. But this seems good and fast and nothing seems
3. to be slowing me down. Which is a good thing.

Hunted

I was head hunted the other day. Out of the blue. Talked about the role...offering more significantly more $$$ than I am on now.

So yes I was interested. But then he mentioned the travel. And I guess to some people that would be a bonus for the job but for me (and us) with a child on the way it's just not viable. The travel would have been 5 times a month in Canberra, twice a month interstate and twice a year overseas. I mean it sounds nice but really with a kid on the way I don't think that's the way to start.

Besides I'm really comfy where I am . Which I guess means that it will be a long time before I go anywhere. I mean I just can't imagine this degree of autonomy. I like running my day how I see fit and persuing what technical improvements I think would be good.

This job has a mix of everything I like, freedom, geekiness and stuff to play with. What more could you want? Oh and it's close to home.

Does this sound like I'm trying to justify staying put in a job that I've been in for over 6 years? Yes it does? Well , I guess that's what I'm doing. It's not all about the money.

Well there you have it. Only the second time I have ever been head hunted.

Ego

I was thinking the other day about what makes us do things. What motivates us and drives us to suceed. I find myself now rather blessed with ambition something that years ago would have seemed alien to me.

Yet I do not know how I got here exactly and it's strange to think that I quite enjoy this side of myself.

So, I was given to thinking these things and came to the conclusion that it all comes down to the ego. I have one, you have one, most people seem to have them. It really is a matter of how much we let our ego's influence our thoughts and actions.

When it comes to me I have to admit that I have a healthy ego but it is this very health that lets me think that I will do well. By believing that I will do well I end up with ambition to do well.

Does that make sense? These thoughts are just coming out as I type so I would expect not a lot of sense.

So you see I have a desire to prove to people that I am smart and that by being smart I will go places. From spending too much time at uni to never getting anything finished I was furnished with a measure of guilt that I have wasted my time that I have left things too late.

But now, with ambition brought about my ego I feel more and more powerful. I feel like I can pull off anything if I just let my ego drive me. I feel like I am a force that can reckon with others on an equal level despite my brain (which has always seemed like a hindrance).

Yes, it's a ramble. It's random thoughts but do you get what I'm saying?

By having a healthy ego (sometimes a bit too healthy) I am able to say to myself, yes I can do that, yes I am _going_ to do that and I desrve to do well.

I like my ego. I like me. And that's where I want to be.

Oh, and I love my wife and our little bunny.

Over and out.

My Piano

Yesterday I had my piano delivered out of storage. It had been there fore over two years since my parents sold their house and I didn't have room for it in my unit.

But the storage company is no longer doing storage and so I had to move it somewhere. Turns out it fits nicely in my garage and still leaves room for the car! So woo there.

The thing that got me most was how it felt to have a play on it again. It's obviously been over two years since I've played it and most likely since I've played a real piano at all.

And oh how I miss it. How different it feels from an electronic keyboard no matter how weighted the keys are. There is just some extra character that comes from the mechanical-ness of it all.

Whilst I was having a brief flitter over the keys (yes my fingers still worked!!) one of my neighbours wandered past and commented that it sounded like someone was playing the piano!

What an obvious thing yes but I guess you don't expect to hear pianos in garages. She commented that perhaps we (as in people in general) would hear more of me. I was quite happy by that comment. I am so used to people telling me to stop playing, or be quiet or such things. Like the sound of a piano is annoying or such.

Well, I'm looking forward to having the occasional tinkle on it. Working out my frustrations in music I think is the best therapy one can employ!

Thank you for listening.

Respect

It's an interesting word. Yet how does one get it? I've been thinking about that over the last few months and haven't really come up with anything useful.

I mean sure, I know what I respect. Friend of mine running his own business, I respect that. I'm sure it's not easy, and there is no rest. But he's out there following his dream and you gotta respect him for that.

Or perhaps someone who has a big boat or house that you can look up to and say , yes you've obviously worked hard to get these things. That's gotta be worth respect.

Or perhaps someone who's had to endure coming out to his friends and family. I mean that's got to be the hardest thing to do. I respect that. I can't ever imagine having the gonads to pull that off yet he has.

Yet none of this helps me get respect. I mean how do I get respect? I don't have money. I have little time to gather significant wealth markers. I don't think I have any dark secret that would justify anything near the respect I have for someone coming out.

So what is it that I can do? Perhaps I can just lead a life that I am not ashamed of. Look after my wife and raise my kids as best I can? Does that seem like something worthy of respect. Despite being an all too comon thing that many many people have done before me?

Ok, if you agree with me that this is worthy, then why does it seem that there is so little respect going around these days? What makes someone think that respect is gotten from having a fully sick car or a concealed weapon? Where did our values get so warped to think that these things warrant anything?

I continue to wonder about how afraid we are and how little we respect each other. I am worried that the things we do sway others against us.

So there is nothing else I can think of for this post. At least I have unburnded my soul to you all and now you can ponder the same questions that I have. Won't that be nice!

Duff Man

Get in sync

Get in sync: "Posted by Brian Rakowski, Product Manager

What could be worse than forgetting to bookmark the obscure page you found that maps out the perfect walking tour of Venice? Having bookmarked it on the computer sitting on your desk back at home, 6000 miles away, instead of on the laptop you brought along. Or how about the frustration of being on a new computer and not remembering your passwords because your browser on your old computer automatically filled them in for you?

These sorts of frustrations inspired us to build a Firefox extension that keeps your browser settings for all your computers in sync. Google Browser Sync unifies your bookmarks, history, saved passwords, and persistent cookies across all the computers where you install it. It also remembers which tabs and windows you had open when you last closed any of your browsers and gives you a chance to reopen them. We think you'll enjoy how it handles sync conflicts and 'just works,' enabling you to bring your browser with you everywhere.

Meanwhile, we've also been improving version 2 of the Google To"

Loosing Touch

I felt a bit sad on the weekend.

Let me explain why.

On the weekend I was at a gathering of friends. At this gathering a long time friend was there with a new girlfriend. At least that was what I gathered. This is all cool and I'm happy for him but I felt like and outsiding coming into that situation which apparantly everyone else present was aware of.

And these people had known her also from previous times which I wasn't aware.

I guess I was feeling like I wasn't really part of this group anymore. I know this isn't really the case, these people are still my friends I've just not recently made the effect to hang out and do stuff that friends do.

It's all to easy for me to blame other things like distance and time but these are people that all willing to give up these things when call upon for me so I don't see thats really why.

Perhaps I feel these people no longer have time for me that I'm no longer important to them. But I also feel this is not the case.

The truth is harder than that. To be honest I'm just lazy. Sleeping in is better than getting up and doing things sometimes and doing things at home is better than going out and doing things.

Thus I end up doing little and going no where to the result that I don't see anyone (bar my lovely wife) and don't keep up relationships with the people that I would want to.

It's a sad thing when you loose touch with your friends. Things change yes but that's no reason to give up on your friends. It's all to easy to be lazy and not make the effort and hope that they don't do the same to you. If they do then it's all over and your left on your own.

So to those of you out there, I dont mean to do this and I want to change things for the better but sometimes life doesn't make it easy and sometimes we're predisposed to think of ourselves first before others.

So hey, I'll be looking to visit y'all sometime soon. Just you wait.


--
The Duff Man.

Some birds I met

What do you think of this pair? Both of them giving me the eye hey!

This is a photo I took ages ago, can't even remember when, out on my balcony one day where I found about 14 of these beauties on there hoping for a feed.

Of course I just took their photo and lef t them there. I mean I don't know what they were thinking looking for food at my place.

This was of course before I got married.

Just a little bit for you all. 

The structure of life

I often wonder what drives me to such different ends.

Ok I must explain. Often I am driven into a cleaning frenzy at home (or even at the office) which to me is out of character. Other times I am driven to lazy boughts of TV watching.

I feel like I am torn between the structure and routine side of life and the free form, do whatever kind of living. Yet I am at a loss to find a balance. Is there a balance? Am I talking total twallop?

I don't know. I just know that there must be a happy medium in the middle with just enough lazing around and just enough routine and order to make even someone like me happy.

I guess if we had choice we wouldn't do anything? Does that mean that it's choosing between what must be done and what is nice to do? Work and Play? Enjoying life and just getting on with it?

I guess our internal happiness depends a lot on how we feel about our lot in life. If there were no play and all work then you would tend to get depressed surely. If there were no work and all play I could imagine you would get bored quickly.

Work gives us a sense of purpose.

Play gives us a sense of selfishness.

Makes sense to me.

Climbing at last

After many a stressful leadup I finally convinced someone to come along and climb with me last wednesday night. I was surreal for the first few minutes then it was business as usual as I attempted to beat my boss into submission. Unfortunately he won doing a few climbs that I couldn't do. Then again he downgraded on a couple too.

I guess in the end it's all fair.

Just thought I'd tell you all that. For those of you that didn't make it well I'm always keen on wed nights (for at least this semester).


Ryan the climb nazi.

Dilbert in the Flesh

For years I have been looking for this to appear in Australian stores...

Imagine my surprise then when I found the complete Dilbert Series at JB on DVD!!

Yes this is the cartoon version of Dilbert!! Only ever aired briefly on 10 but now I have all of it in my grubby little hands. Yes and it's all good.

For someone who reads Dilbert every day this is a goldmine. I'm already through the first disk and onto the second but I should really get some work done.

My Little Bushfire

We had a nice scare yesterday when a bushfire started around 5pm out the back of our other building. Burnt all the way up to the carpack out back. Firies where there till 7am this morning dealing with it all.

Smelt like a bushfire when I got home. Haven't been this close to a bushfire in ages.

In the photo you can see the logs that you would normally park your car against. These were smouldering this morning.

The building to the right is our building. Not very far away really.

Oh well, thought you'd all like to know.

My Google Pages

Well in case noone knows here is my google pages.

http://rruckley.googlepages.com/

Very exciting but at least I will have someone looking at it. Even if it is me.

I will also link to it via the links at the side.

Thanks for watching my channel.

Neighbourhood Grrr

Lying awake in bed last night, I was listening to an argument breaking out across the laneway. I couldn't help but think about what it is that brings people to this point where they are so agressive towards one another.

If we hadn't of closed the window early on you could have heard what it was they were arguing about but you could certainly here the doors being slammed and things being thrown (or at least that's what I imagined).

I couldn't help wondering if it is a certain type of personality that takes people to this point. Or perhaps its an intelligence thing. All I know is growing up I learnt confrontation avoidance from my dad. I now never want to get anywhere near a conflict even when perhaps I should.

It's a hard questions to answer as to the appropriate level of anger. My answer for a long time has been that no anger is appropriate, that anger is a symptom of lack of emotional control. But I know how that this is not the case. I'm learning but I'm still not understanding.

I don't want to slam doors and throw objects at people yet I don't want to completely avoid confrontation either.

Grrr. Does that help?

Just around the corner

Peoples,
So I've been watching these units go up from since when it was two federation houses that I was upset about. I guess Sydney needs more space for the more people and who'd want to live in any house right next to thousands of units...

What do you think then of these? Worth as much as a 70s 2 bedder but pretty spic inside, yet only single bedder. If only we had the money to invest it would be kinda cool.

Just been thinking about future options and stuff thus the real estate posting...

http://www.hamiltonandco.com.au/cgi-bin/csrch/csrch.pl?tmpl=details&col=2&c=68957454&tm=1143093462&&f=12&p=4&tot=30&t=res&st=&propid=103060727

Have fun!

Uber Geek

I should point out that I've added another page and more content to my google page. Not that its really important...but hey I'm trying here.

http://rruckley.googlepages.com/

Google, what can't they do?

I've just whipped up a simple homepage with Googles new page creator site. Nice interface and all that jazz that you've come to expect from Google. Makes you wonder what they are going to push through it? Online adds in your own site? My blog already has google ads in it. Not that that earns me any money.

Check out my page anyways. Its here somewhere.

Another cool thing (not that I own any shares) is the http://finance.google.com site. I can get info on all shares that interest me. Slick interface again and I like the news links into the graph. Very nice idea.

Anyways, I'm just sitting here at work waiting for the coffee machine to start working.

I can see my (sisters) house from here!

Well ok it's been a while but something just got my attention:

Google has a UK maps now (well they must have for a while but I didn't know about it!). So first thing I do is look up where my sister lives!

Some of you may have even been there before but here is the map reference anyway:

http://maps.google.co.uk/?ll=54.545086,-2.954249&spn=0.047198,0.084286

She lives past the end of that road to the left of the town. Isn't that cool? Yes its remote but it's very beautiful out there. Makes me wish I could afford to go back and visit!

Well there you have it. Something exciting for almost hometime!

--
Ryan Uber Nerd.

Total Arnie

For those total sci-fi geeks out there I finally laid my hands on a copy of Total Recall after many years searching. Finally get to recite two weeks ad nauseum. Ahh the bliss of it all...I even had a promise from my wife that she will watch it!

I can finally rest in my DVD quest now that I have this spot filled. Sure there are other classics out there...Blade Runner or or um, well I'm sure there are more.

Needless to say I think I've had enough tea for today.

Are we afraid yet?

I've just been sitting here reading about all the furour over the infamous cartoons of some certain prophet. You know what? I'm almost sure that most of the people out there that are up in arms have not seen these cartoons and are only looking for reason to decry the wrongness of western society.

I'm sorry but that just pisses me off. I mean really I've always thought that Australia was a multicultural place. Meaning of course that we have lots of cultures in little pockets, none of which mingle.

This isn't totally true, there are lots of cultures out there that don't have a problem with each other. Its when one culture says to another, I'm better than you therefore you have to do things my way, that the trouble begins.

Ok, I've already said enough. I don't think me adding to the debate is really going to do anything but geez, to quote a famous movie, can't we all just get along?

Are you all still there

Ok, as you can see I'm getting bored with this blogging thing.

My issue is that it's a one way medium essentially.

Well ok it is for me. Noone comments on my posts so I have to assume that they are not interesting else noone reads them.

Well what can I do to make them interesting? I don't know. Perhaps I'm not interesting inherantly and thus can never make an interesting blog.

Of course my ego says otherwise and thus I'll keep plugging away at it and see if it gets me anywhere.

The other more real excuse of course is that I simply don't have the time to pour my brain out into this place once a day. I should make time but work is one of those things that takes your time away without every saying sorry.

So here is this meta-blog entry for you to think about.

On other news, I'm almost up to date with the Pottering. One more book to finish and I'll be part of the club!

Looking forward to blurting out crap in the near future...