Loosing Touch

I felt a bit sad on the weekend.

Let me explain why.

On the weekend I was at a gathering of friends. At this gathering a long time friend was there with a new girlfriend. At least that was what I gathered. This is all cool and I'm happy for him but I felt like and outsiding coming into that situation which apparantly everyone else present was aware of.

And these people had known her also from previous times which I wasn't aware.

I guess I was feeling like I wasn't really part of this group anymore. I know this isn't really the case, these people are still my friends I've just not recently made the effect to hang out and do stuff that friends do.

It's all to easy for me to blame other things like distance and time but these are people that all willing to give up these things when call upon for me so I don't see thats really why.

Perhaps I feel these people no longer have time for me that I'm no longer important to them. But I also feel this is not the case.

The truth is harder than that. To be honest I'm just lazy. Sleeping in is better than getting up and doing things sometimes and doing things at home is better than going out and doing things.

Thus I end up doing little and going no where to the result that I don't see anyone (bar my lovely wife) and don't keep up relationships with the people that I would want to.

It's a sad thing when you loose touch with your friends. Things change yes but that's no reason to give up on your friends. It's all to easy to be lazy and not make the effort and hope that they don't do the same to you. If they do then it's all over and your left on your own.

So to those of you out there, I dont mean to do this and I want to change things for the better but sometimes life doesn't make it easy and sometimes we're predisposed to think of ourselves first before others.

So hey, I'll be looking to visit y'all sometime soon. Just you wait.


--
The Duff Man.

Some birds I met

What do you think of this pair? Both of them giving me the eye hey!

This is a photo I took ages ago, can't even remember when, out on my balcony one day where I found about 14 of these beauties on there hoping for a feed.

Of course I just took their photo and lef t them there. I mean I don't know what they were thinking looking for food at my place.

This was of course before I got married.

Just a little bit for you all. 

The structure of life

I often wonder what drives me to such different ends.

Ok I must explain. Often I am driven into a cleaning frenzy at home (or even at the office) which to me is out of character. Other times I am driven to lazy boughts of TV watching.

I feel like I am torn between the structure and routine side of life and the free form, do whatever kind of living. Yet I am at a loss to find a balance. Is there a balance? Am I talking total twallop?

I don't know. I just know that there must be a happy medium in the middle with just enough lazing around and just enough routine and order to make even someone like me happy.

I guess if we had choice we wouldn't do anything? Does that mean that it's choosing between what must be done and what is nice to do? Work and Play? Enjoying life and just getting on with it?

I guess our internal happiness depends a lot on how we feel about our lot in life. If there were no play and all work then you would tend to get depressed surely. If there were no work and all play I could imagine you would get bored quickly.

Work gives us a sense of purpose.

Play gives us a sense of selfishness.

Makes sense to me.

Climbing at last

After many a stressful leadup I finally convinced someone to come along and climb with me last wednesday night. I was surreal for the first few minutes then it was business as usual as I attempted to beat my boss into submission. Unfortunately he won doing a few climbs that I couldn't do. Then again he downgraded on a couple too.

I guess in the end it's all fair.

Just thought I'd tell you all that. For those of you that didn't make it well I'm always keen on wed nights (for at least this semester).


Ryan the climb nazi.

Dilbert in the Flesh

For years I have been looking for this to appear in Australian stores...

Imagine my surprise then when I found the complete Dilbert Series at JB on DVD!!

Yes this is the cartoon version of Dilbert!! Only ever aired briefly on 10 but now I have all of it in my grubby little hands. Yes and it's all good.

For someone who reads Dilbert every day this is a goldmine. I'm already through the first disk and onto the second but I should really get some work done.

My Little Bushfire

We had a nice scare yesterday when a bushfire started around 5pm out the back of our other building. Burnt all the way up to the carpack out back. Firies where there till 7am this morning dealing with it all.

Smelt like a bushfire when I got home. Haven't been this close to a bushfire in ages.

In the photo you can see the logs that you would normally park your car against. These were smouldering this morning.

The building to the right is our building. Not very far away really.

Oh well, thought you'd all like to know.

My Google Pages

Well in case noone knows here is my google pages.

http://rruckley.googlepages.com/

Very exciting but at least I will have someone looking at it. Even if it is me.

I will also link to it via the links at the side.

Thanks for watching my channel.

Neighbourhood Grrr

Lying awake in bed last night, I was listening to an argument breaking out across the laneway. I couldn't help but think about what it is that brings people to this point where they are so agressive towards one another.

If we hadn't of closed the window early on you could have heard what it was they were arguing about but you could certainly here the doors being slammed and things being thrown (or at least that's what I imagined).

I couldn't help wondering if it is a certain type of personality that takes people to this point. Or perhaps its an intelligence thing. All I know is growing up I learnt confrontation avoidance from my dad. I now never want to get anywhere near a conflict even when perhaps I should.

It's a hard questions to answer as to the appropriate level of anger. My answer for a long time has been that no anger is appropriate, that anger is a symptom of lack of emotional control. But I know how that this is not the case. I'm learning but I'm still not understanding.

I don't want to slam doors and throw objects at people yet I don't want to completely avoid confrontation either.

Grrr. Does that help?

Just around the corner

Peoples,
So I've been watching these units go up from since when it was two federation houses that I was upset about. I guess Sydney needs more space for the more people and who'd want to live in any house right next to thousands of units...

What do you think then of these? Worth as much as a 70s 2 bedder but pretty spic inside, yet only single bedder. If only we had the money to invest it would be kinda cool.

Just been thinking about future options and stuff thus the real estate posting...

http://www.hamiltonandco.com.au/cgi-bin/csrch/csrch.pl?tmpl=details&col=2&c=68957454&tm=1143093462&&f=12&p=4&tot=30&t=res&st=&propid=103060727

Have fun!

Uber Geek

I should point out that I've added another page and more content to my google page. Not that its really important...but hey I'm trying here.

http://rruckley.googlepages.com/

Google, what can't they do?

I've just whipped up a simple homepage with Googles new page creator site. Nice interface and all that jazz that you've come to expect from Google. Makes you wonder what they are going to push through it? Online adds in your own site? My blog already has google ads in it. Not that that earns me any money.

Check out my page anyways. Its here somewhere.

Another cool thing (not that I own any shares) is the http://finance.google.com site. I can get info on all shares that interest me. Slick interface again and I like the news links into the graph. Very nice idea.

Anyways, I'm just sitting here at work waiting for the coffee machine to start working.

I can see my (sisters) house from here!

Well ok it's been a while but something just got my attention:

Google has a UK maps now (well they must have for a while but I didn't know about it!). So first thing I do is look up where my sister lives!

Some of you may have even been there before but here is the map reference anyway:

http://maps.google.co.uk/?ll=54.545086,-2.954249&spn=0.047198,0.084286

She lives past the end of that road to the left of the town. Isn't that cool? Yes its remote but it's very beautiful out there. Makes me wish I could afford to go back and visit!

Well there you have it. Something exciting for almost hometime!

--
Ryan Uber Nerd.

Total Arnie

For those total sci-fi geeks out there I finally laid my hands on a copy of Total Recall after many years searching. Finally get to recite two weeks ad nauseum. Ahh the bliss of it all...I even had a promise from my wife that she will watch it!

I can finally rest in my DVD quest now that I have this spot filled. Sure there are other classics out there...Blade Runner or or um, well I'm sure there are more.

Needless to say I think I've had enough tea for today.

Are we afraid yet?

I've just been sitting here reading about all the furour over the infamous cartoons of some certain prophet. You know what? I'm almost sure that most of the people out there that are up in arms have not seen these cartoons and are only looking for reason to decry the wrongness of western society.

I'm sorry but that just pisses me off. I mean really I've always thought that Australia was a multicultural place. Meaning of course that we have lots of cultures in little pockets, none of which mingle.

This isn't totally true, there are lots of cultures out there that don't have a problem with each other. Its when one culture says to another, I'm better than you therefore you have to do things my way, that the trouble begins.

Ok, I've already said enough. I don't think me adding to the debate is really going to do anything but geez, to quote a famous movie, can't we all just get along?

Are you all still there

Ok, as you can see I'm getting bored with this blogging thing.

My issue is that it's a one way medium essentially.

Well ok it is for me. Noone comments on my posts so I have to assume that they are not interesting else noone reads them.

Well what can I do to make them interesting? I don't know. Perhaps I'm not interesting inherantly and thus can never make an interesting blog.

Of course my ego says otherwise and thus I'll keep plugging away at it and see if it gets me anywhere.

The other more real excuse of course is that I simply don't have the time to pour my brain out into this place once a day. I should make time but work is one of those things that takes your time away without every saying sorry.

So here is this meta-blog entry for you to think about.

On other news, I'm almost up to date with the Pottering. One more book to finish and I'll be part of the club!

Looking forward to blurting out crap in the near future...

Hello Peoples

Sorry for not blogging for a while but just been feeling a bit off.

When I get sick its rare that its bad enough to knock me down and out it just kicks me down a notch. Thus for the last week I'm sure I've had something, being really tired slightly sore throat but its just not enough to stay home from work.

Yet at the same time I'm just not feeling well enough to splurge on a blog entry.

Sorry for those of you that hang on my every word.

Better luck next time.

Easter Already?

Has anyone else noticed that since christmas is all but over the stores are pushing out the next run of goods...easter eggs!!!

Now I would have thought that the cost of having these eggs on shelfs for two extra months is not really outweighed by the extra profits of all those people buying them.

If I didnt have little nieces and newphews I would so love to boycott the whole easter egg thing. I really dont see the point of it all for a religious event.

But when you see their faces upon recieving egg after egg you cant stand there and be the evil uncle not handing some out! Its just too hard.

You may as well tag easter the chocolate festival and leave it at that.

So I dont Rock

Do you remember that sinking feeling when you know you've just fucked up big time but are beyond the point of no return.

The time when you play through in your head all the nice saves that you know are impossible, just so you don't have to face the magniture of your fuckup.

Well I was there yesterday. Without getting into details I did an upgrade that has now turned sour. Trying now to work out how to get things back on track.

I hate feeling stupid yet doing stupid things does it. At this point I have no confidence in myself or my abilities...but I guess I will feel better later when I somehow manage to recover what I have put awry.

I Rock!

Ok, well I'm not a rock god or anything but I did get my Uni results back today and I'm proud to say yet another Distinction. My fifth since returning to uni. I only wish I could have worked this hard the first time around rather than doing it the hard way!

But it's a good feeling to know that I am smart and that I can do this. Now just to finish.

The Secret Life of Others

Ever wonder what your friends think of you? Or your co-workers. Something their not going to say to your face, yet they might say online in a chatroom or a blog.

I wonder, is it wrong to check out other peoples online musings just to get a feel for your own worth? I mean come one, we all get worried sometimes about how we are percieved in the world, so why would it be a bad thing?

If you put stuff out there you shouldn't really expect it to go unnoticed. I mean that's why I'm here spewing out such drivel as I do. So that people like you will read my musings and think better of me. Think that somehow having taken this leap I am a better person.

But it's all bull really. Just another outlet for the mind to pour forth shite. Well ok not everything is shite...some of it might be considering insightful and witty. But usually I write here just 'cos I get a feeling about something or I'm feeling down. The I tell the world about it and somehow that makes it better.

So now my life isn't so secret. My thoughts are yours to digest. Maybe I'll let out some secrets but generally I'll just gripe about the world and offer my angle on it all.

There. Now doesn't that feel better?