Riding Away

I've started riding to work and something strange has happened. Instead of my inherent
lazy streak overriding me and telling me to take the car when the weather is nasty I have found that I'm now feeling bad for taking the car. I actually find myself feeling like a wimp of some sort for not riding in the rain or for thinking a little bit of wet is an excuse not to ride.

I don't understand this myself as it's not what I would have expected of myself. I know I'm lazy and it's a constant battle to get past that. Yet here I am wanting to ride in the rain, wanting to not skip days. I think some of the motivation has to be that I've lost 4kg. Not that that sounds like a lot (it isn't) but it's more the fact that people have noticed and finally I have felt like I'm getting somewhere.

I know how hard it is to diet which is why I'm not being to careful on that side of things. Yes I'm trying to eat less but I'm not that fussy of what it is. Instead I feel like I'm changing my lifestyle for the good here. I've wanted to ride for so many years yet haven't managed to get there until recently. Now I feel liberated. I look forward to riding, and once I'm at work I feel happy that I have to ride home because now I am enjoying the whole deal.

Ok, enough ranting about riding.

Find me by the Shorefront

Well it's about time. I finally have a shady front to hide behind. Yes, I've registered a business name and gotten myself an ABN.

http://shorefront.googlepages.com

Now just to find some consulting work.

My masochistic reading

Of late I've been doing my head in with the heaviness of my reading choices. Currently I'm reading War and Peace the mother of all epitomes and decided on the weekend that I needed more punishment and thus bought The Brothers Karamazov and the Idiot both by Dostoevsky.

All this intellectual masochism started on a whim one day whilst browsing a book store at Birken Head I noticed both War and Peace and Crime and Punishment. Who couldn't resist books which such simple titles? I couldn't considering I had actually heard of these two books and usually they were considered very serious undertakings when it came to the book world.

So I bought them and waded through Crime and Punishment whilst staying at my in-laws (in between houses). Such was the weight of this book it caused me to start writing one of my own.
This mood soon left me until I started on War and Peace. That journey is still going and I can't see an end in sight yet as I'm only 750 pages in, barely half way.

So all this intellectual discovery has lead me to pile on the pages with two more Dostoevsky's which look to be good, one of which was his last book so I can hopefully (if my brain survives) compare the two.

I'll let you know how I get on.

Bye Bye SuperWall

I have just removed my SuperWall from facebook. It seems the only purpose of this application is to propagate chain mail hoaxes around as fast as possible. Ending up with multiple copies of the same stupid hoax with some (presumable) innocent persons face attached to it just irked me no end.

So now I've deleted my Superwall and am only going to use Facebook for it's original intend, keeping in touch with friends.

No longer a facebook whore

Are you one of those people that accepted every request from 'friends' on facebook? So that your profile was overflowing with apps you'd never used? So that you're profile page was full of the latest wave of crap that was sweeping through the ranks of facebookers. Yep that was me.

Until now. I have decided that the only reason for facebook is to replace the email chains that annoying people used to send through. At least that's all that I can see. Everytime I get a message saying someone has sent me something I get excited. Then I look at it and realize it's not to me. Not really, none of it is. It's just another chain thingy sweeping through facebook that you get some sort of kudos for sending to as many people as possible.

Remember, the person with the most friends wins!!

So I've decided to trim down my profile, clean out the clutter. I'm getting rid of my FulWall(tm) as it's just a place for people to place random crap that I don't want nor care to advertise. All those apps that I only added to be nice and never used, gone.

Now I will just be using facebook so that people know that I exist and know a few people. I just don't have the time for the rest of it.

Concept

In my attempt to write a book or at least a short story (fictional) I have spent some time thinking about how to go about it. To this end I have created this document in which I will try and lay out my story before I begin writing. I think it's good to have a plan as to where you are going so that you can keep to the story line.

My earlier attempts at creative writing (read high school) were written much more free form and thus didn't start with any specific ideas other than the terms of the work set by school. Now that I want to do my own thing I have to have much more of an idea of what I want to write about.

I have enjoyed reading Crime and Punishment and I certainly relate to the struggle the main character has with the deeds that he has done. Thus I am inclined to write a story about one man struggle with some kind of new knowledge. Thoughts so far are some form of mental capacity or perhaps a new scientific discover that has large ramifications.

Outline

Start with background of the primary character. Introduce him and let the reader understand him. What he looks like how he behaves.
Walking down the busy city street, Pavlo exuded excitement like a glow one gets after sex. You could tell just by looking at him that he was bursting to tell everyone and everything about something. It was his walk, his barely there smirk and the way he wasn't distracted by any of the sights passing as he walked. Here was a man on a mission.

Next start with his state of mind. Perhaps he has already made this discovery and his first reaction is just to tell people. This does not go well.

Learning from his first reaction he finds that people just aren't interested. He is having a hard time making people understand the significance of what he has discovered. He is depressed about this.

He tries in vain to ignore his discovery feeling letting doubt reign thinking that perhaps its a symptom of his own mental illness.

He seeks treatment for his 'illness' even though in his heart he doesn't believe it. But then mental illnesses can feel like that he reasons.

He is placed on medication by his physician and seems happy for now with this outcome. In a sense it is a resolution. Not the resolution that he desired but certainly one that fits with todays ideas.

Years pass and by accident he finds someone else who has created a website about his discovery. He is completely thrown off guard with this news.

He attempts to get in contact with the person that has created this website to try and confirm the story but the person is illusive.

Eventually he tracks this person down and discovers that whilst the concept is the same as his the person does not believe in it but placed it on the Internet as a thought experiement.

Our man is devastated by this news and spends much time in a haze unsure of what to do next.

Finally he decides the only resolution he can possible have is some form of proof that either he is mentally ill, or his discovery is real and he is ok.

Somehow an experiment is conducted which he plans to demonstrate his discovery to people who can judge it properly.

He presents the experiment and despite mixed responses to his discovery comes to the conclusion that not all strange weird and new discoveries such as his are the result of mental illness and perhaps leaps of discovery such as this is now mankind advances.

Notes

I believe the premise of this story is to take the reader through the same states that the protagonist goes through. The excitement at his discovery followed by disbelief when the discovery is revealed.

Alternatively, I had toyed the the idea of seeing now far I could get through the story without revealing what the discovery was at all. After all the meat of the story is how he deals all the things that are thrown at him. Yet the reader will be curious as to what it is and want to judge for themselves that this discovery is warranted.

I am thinking of stories like the movie K-Pax where the 'discovery' so to speak is that Prost is an alien yet are left guessing the whole time about the truth of this. So perhaps here I need him to have a discover that is suitably out there.

Perhaps some form of mental capacity that is currently unbelievable. Psykokensis is too well covered. Telepathy also. Perhaps coersion. The mental equivalent of bullying. Making others do what you want. Bending free will to your will. Yes that will do it.

To make it interesting though we won't reveal this until his diagnosis as ill. This could be the end of part 1.

I passed

Now I can get on with the real business of studying for my CCNP. I have this ingrained need to prove myself. I don't know why, perhaps because I was such a dissapointment during school. I could have done many things, I was just so very lazy. Now I'm making up for lost time. Whilst I still can.

Back Studying

For those that are interested, I am resitting my CCNA exam on Tuesday. The old one lapsed in 2005 and boy have they changed the exam since I did it in 2002. But I am feeling confidant about it and hopefully will pass with more flying colours than I did last time!

It Crawls!

Yes the creature that is my son, thought you would all like to know. Pictures to follow soon and perhaps even a video for those that want it!

Moving In

Just a quick note to say that we are all moved in now. We've been here three days and have managed to discover all there is to discovery about our place including our rubbish shute! We still have loads of boxes all over the place and we are getting to grips with the lack of an official pantry but hey, we have heaps of room so there's nothing to complain about.

Once we get the place sorted out we will have you all over for a BBQ.

Nightmare on Mortgage street

When you say to people that you are buying a new house everyone is very happy for you and none the wiser about what is really involved.

Perhaps you have never bought a property before but I tell you now, it's a rollercoaster of a process and that's after you've signed the contract and you know it's yours!

With our current purchase we decided to keep our existing loan (called a substitution) and just let the bank extend it to buy the new place. Sounds simple? Ha, you would know it but for some reason noone seems to know how this process works least of all the lawyers working for the bank nor my broker who set this all up!!!

We got to 4pm on the day before settlement was due to occur only to find out that the bank couldn't access the money available in the existing loan. This meant of course that we had to somehow get this money to them. With the threat of a delayed settlement on the cards many frantic phone calls were made trying to sort out this mess.

The end of it involves myself hand delivering a cheque from the bank to the banks lawyers! What a crock. Luck I had taken the week off else it would have been a difficult situation.

The thing that really gets to me about this whole process is that for a settlement that was longer than usual it took to one day before settlement to discover this problem and only by accident. None of the parties that supposedly should have done this before told me that I would have to participate in the settlement. I cannot believe that they didn't know about this.

Lesson to be learned in the future, don't trust the people who's job it is to know these things. Pretend they are all idiots and double check everything. They are all making money out of this transaction they should be on the ball yet they are not.

I feel like a project manager, manging my own property settlement, perhaps theres an industry in that?

An Experiment

I plan to attempt a new project. I want to write a book. I will keep you posted. Just an experiment to see if I can.,

Crime and Punishment

Yes you guess it, I'm reading the revered Crime and Punishment (next up is War and Peace). You may of course ask why on earth I would want to read such heavy books. Trust me I have been wondering that myself but I guess it goes like this:

I have always wondered if ordinary people would given the right stimulus be able to comprehend things such as these books. Alternatively are they only for the intellectual elite amongst us? Certainly I don't consider myself one of those but I am curios to know if I can understand what it is about these books that makes them among the greatest books ever written (so I am led to believe).

So therefore when I recently spotted these two books at a bookstore I thought to myself, why not? I mean surely there is something in there for everyone? So that is my experiment. I am going to read these two giants and see if I can understand what it is that makes them giants.

Of course all of this could just be proof of what a geek I have become. For some reason I now seek out challenges such as these. I mean I have the most eclectic taste in movies (just ask my wife) and music that anyone would wonder what I am trying to prove? To be honest? I don't know. Perhaps I am just trying to prove that I am smart and thus worthy of feeling good about myself.

I'll let you be the judge.

Bought at Auction

Wow, I have justed been through my first auction. What a process it was. Nerve wracking to boot. But in the end we won the property we were after for quite a bit less than reserve which is good news.

It's funny how we managed to build up a perception of something with limited knowledge about it. The auction process was nothing like I had imagined. Well ok it was something like it but the auctioneer was much more jovial that I had imagined and yet at the same time there were far fewer people bidding that I had expected. The room was packed with over 40 people but there was no way of knowing which of the 5 properties the people were interested in.

As it turned out very few of the people present actually bidded on properties and for ours only one other person and he wasn't prepared to go as high as we were.

Woo such a load of to have this all over and done.

Intimidating

Today I was called something I never thought I would and it made me think. We always worry at least to some extent what people think of us. We can't help it. You can't live in a society and not wonder what people think of you because we spend so much time thinking things of other people. Usually with little fact in the mix too.

So today when I was called intimidating I was quite bemused. I had never seen myself that way and certainly hadn't thought that my geekdom would be to blame. Yet somehow it made sense to some extent.

Of course normally these things don't get found out because people are too polite to say anything to your face. I might never have found out that that's what these people think of me.

Does it really make a difference though? I don't know. I don't like the tag but what am I going to do? Pretend to be dumb so people aren't intimidated? I don't think so. I'm proud of who I am and I don't think modifying my behavior to suit a handful of people is the solution. I don't really know how I can avoid being intimidating if this is the effect I have on people. How else does one behave when the reason they feel this way is because you know too much yet at the same time you are trying to teach them things and help them get a leg up?

You tell me because I don't know.

New Lens Today

Yep, photography wannabe. Thats me. But today I received my 50mm lens which I have wanted for ages. Now that I have a bub I have a willing subject to photograph and I want to be able to capture him in all his modes.

Thus I now have this simple light cheap and fast lens to do that with. With an F stop of 1.8 it is very fast and I should be able to take non-flash shots in many more situations. Cant wait to get it home and have a play!

Where are all my friends?

Where have all the good friends gone?

I think that sounds like a song to me. I've been playing around with all these social networking sites of late but all they seem to show me is that I don't have any friends. Or at least not the kind that use such services.

Somehow I can only come away from all this with the feeling that I have no friends? Is this how our children will measure their self esteem by how many friends they have on facebook?

His first holiday

Well little Nick has had his first holiday away from home. We spent a couple of nights up in the Blue Mountains and he slept overnight in his porta-cot. New experience for us parents having him in the same room. Bubs are noisy sleepers!
Here we have him in his backpack about to go down the Furber steps in Katoomba. Shortly after this shot he fell fast asleep and missed most of the descent!
It was a fun day for all though mums legs are much sorer afterwoods! Here he is a little over 5 months old now and going great on solids. Perhaps next year up the mountains he might be walking some of the way!!

Book of Faces

I have recently been introduced to FaceBook and I'm hooked. Thing is, I don't have any friends...or at least (said a better way) I don't seem to have many friends on facebook. But I guess that's 'cos it's not really that big here in Australia yet. Getting there I guess.

Neat idea of how every relationship you have (eg you say you know person a) requires verification from that person. So you don't get random people trying to attach to your profile!

I like it.

So ok, everyone reading this, sign up...and be my friend! Then I can look popular, something I've always wanted to do!

Check out my profile:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=601346387

Why wouldnt you have one?

I mean honestly? Why would anyone not want to have one of these to enjoy? I've no idea what kind of parent I am going to make, how can anyone? But I do know that right now, when he's just shy of 4 months old, he brings so much joy to our little family.

Yes he can be a lot of work but you do that willingly. Because he's part of you. Because he gives you a reason to exist. Something to justify all the other crap that you go through. He's your chance to engender all those ideals that you've spent the last decade creating. He's so many things it's hard to get across just what it is that make him so special.

Then again, this is not something I could imagine or theorize about before the event. All those couples out there making the choice not to have kids are working on minimal information. But then noone is ever going to suggest you have kids just to try it out. You can't hand them back if you find that it's not your cup of tea.

Kids, I think are something you just have to take on faith.

Faith, remember is something you do when there is insufficient evidence to make an educated descision. I think that's what kids are about, you decide that you want them without any evidence either for or against. You won't really know if it's the right thing until you are there, you just have a feeling that it will be right.

And that's all you have to go on.

For me, it was enough. I love my son and I'm so glad he's here to enrich my world.